Page 79 of Infinite
Carolina has given me a safe place to explain my thoughts whether they’re right or wrong. I’m able to talk about the baby without crying each time. I’m also able to work in the lab without feeling depressed. I’m still helping people find something they want.
The case that I’m dealing with now is so close to my own life that it’s scary. I’ve been starting to really observe Wendy’s last egg to make sure the method I want to use will be responsive. It’s one of these cases where I feel heavily connected.
“What are you thinking about?” Quinn asks.
“The case I’m working on. She’s a lot like me in terms of medical issues and . . . I can’t help but think about it a lot.”
“Do you regret going back to the lab?”
I shake my head. “No, it was the best thing I could’ve done. Not only did I meet Carolina but also I’m doing something I really love. This week, I was able to fertilize four egg sets for three couples. I had forgotten how cool it is. Not just the science, either. I’m changing lives.”
Quinn’s lips turn up and he takes my hand. “I’m glad you’re doing this and that the case isn’t bothering you.”
I am too. “I think . . . instead of making me see what I couldn’t have, it’s sort of given me a new perspective.”
“How so?”
I’m in no way ready to even think about going down this road, but just because I can’t carry a child doesn’t mean I can’t have one. I have eggs frozen. Eggs that I stored when I wanted to know what a woman went through having them extracted. It was never for this intent, but . . . I could actually have my own baby.
Clara apparently told Greyson about this, and he subtly reminded me that not all hope is lost.
This is what I do for a living, and I didn’t even consider it for myself. I’m such an idiot.
“Well, I could have a baby with a surrogate.”
Quinn coughs and shakes his head. “You want a baby.”
“Not now,” I clarify quickly. “I’m saying that, in the future, there are options if I do. Before going back to work, I didn’t even want to think about them because it was just too much.”
“And now?”
I shrug and lean back in the seat. “I don’t know. My future isn’t quite so bleak.”
“No,fragolina, it really isn’t.”
27
Quinn
“You have to tell him about your prom date!” Mrs. Caputo yells as she struggles to catch her breath. “That boy was so stupid.”
“He wasn’t stupid, he was . . . confused on what the proper attire was.”
We’ve spent the entire night eating and laughing. I can see the tension fading from her parents as the night wears on.
“He wasn’t confused, pumpkin, he was cheap and didn’t want to pay for a tuxedo.”
Ashton slaps her hand on her forehead with a thwack. “He tried!”
“How does onetryto wear a tuxedo?” I ask, unable to stay out of this one.
They’ve been reliving her high school days. I never realized that Ashton wasn’t one of the popular girls. I always assumed she was the queen. It turns out we lived through a very similar adolescence.
While my body has filled out, I have worked damn hard at it. I’m in the gym each day, take supplements, and I don’t eat anything processed if I can avoid it. When I was a kid, I was the opposite. My head didn’t fit my body, I was insanely skinny, and acne was not my friend. From the picture her parents are painting, she was much of the same.
She groans dramatically. “He didn’t have the money to rent one, so he went to Goodwill and . . . well, he bought parts of it.”
“Parts?”
