Page 71 of Infinite
“I told you I’m going daily until she says we can scale back.”
“I’m really glad it’s working for you.”
I lean my head against his shoulder, allowing him to hold me up just a bit. “I promised you that I was going to get help.”
He rests his head on mine. “I know, and you’re already coming back to me.”
My heart begins to race because that’s what I’m trying to do. I need him so much and want him even more. That’s one thing that I’m learning the difference between. I can survive losing Quinn, but I don’t want to. I chose him. It’s not a need like breathing or eating. It’s a want that is soul deep and can only be soothed by being with him.
I need to prove it.
I shake off the seriousness that this conversation is headed to. “Well, in order for me to ever return, Carolina says it’s important to push hard in the beginning and that it should be intense. It’s sort of her version of BUDs.”
He nudges my shoulder. “You wouldn’t last a day. The first time someone told you to drop, you’d flip them off.”
“Well, according to all the movies and stories I’ve heard, they are mean.”
“It sure as hell isn’t summer camp.”
I would rather never eat fast food again than go through months of torture. No thank you. Plus, they get really dirty. Quinn has told me so many stories about his training, and each one has made me wonder if he was a sadist.
“I got thrown out of summer camp.” I shrug.
“Seriously?”
“The counselor was a bitch. She didn’t like me thanks to the boy counselor, who was super-hot, and wanted to talk to me. I was fourteen, but . . . I knew how to flirt and shake what my mama gave me, and she didn’t.”
He bursts out laughing, his head falling back, and I swear I want to run my tongue down the column of his throat. I need to get a grip. “So, you did what?”
I look away to ensure I don’t make an ass of myself. “I made out with him and made sure she walked in.”
“And that got you kicked out?”
“No, I got kicked out because she told me not to go swimming, but his team was there, so I said fuck her and went anyway.” Quinn looks at me with a mix of awe and a little bit of incredulity. “What? I don’t like being told what to do.”
He grins with mischief. “You do sometimes.”
I blush and let out a soft chuckle. “Birthday and Christmas, buddy. That’s when you get to order me around.”
“Since we’re going to miss both . . .” Quinn trails off, and I don’t need to be a genius to know where he was going with that.
However, since our kiss, we haven’t even gotten close to that again. Sure, he holds me each night, and last night, we watchedLuciferon television and snuggled, but that’s it. Neither of us has made a move in that way.
But standing here in the sunset and being two glasses of wine deep makes it impossible to shove my need back into the recesses of my mind.
“Is that what you want?”
“I will always want you, Ashton.”
At the same time, we move to each other as though we’re two magnets being drawn together and there’s no way we can stop.
My hand wraps around his neck, and he grips my hips as our lips meet in a crash of passion. I tangle my fingers in his hair as we kiss each other as though there isn’t a choice.
And I don’t think there is.
I hold on as he pushes his tongue inside, sliding against mine. I moan at the feel of his warmth and the taste of his mouth. Quinn’s fingers dig into my sides, gripping me so tight I swear I might bruise, but I don’t care.
I want him to hold me, touch me, push and pull me. I try to put all my feelings into this kiss. I pray that he’ll feel the love, remorse, grief, hope, and forgiveness that are swirling inside me.
