Page 50 of Infinite
I wanted to argue with him before, tell him how he can’t really want all that he said, but I know him. He wouldn’t have let it go. He’s so hellbent on making this work that he doesn’t see the truth. Our hearts can never heal, and eventually, Quinn will be like I am—obliterated.
I love him too much to let that happen.
If I go now, he can find a way through it. I know that there will be a part of him that will fight against it, it’s who he is. My warrior.
The man who will slay dragons, cut anyone down, and live through hell for me. The thing is, he can’t see the dragon because it lives inside me and he won’t allow himself to kill it. So, I have to.
I didn’t know it would quite possibly kill me to do it.
It doesn’t evade me that he has literally given me everything I have ever asked for. He’s stood by my side, loved me, put a ring on my finger, and offered me his entire heart with no restraints. I wish I knew why I can’t be happy with that, but I’m not.
Maybe it’s because his happiness will end up being the final cost.
I brush my hand against his cheek, feeling his skin for what will be the last time.
The words fall from lips so faintly that I hope he doesn’t stir. “It isn’t because I don’t love you, it’s because I love you too much to hurt you any longer. I know you won’t ever forgive me, but I hope that, one day, you’ll understand.”
Slowly and making as little movement as possible, I get out of the bed and make my way to the door. I shouldn’t look back, I should keep going, but I need to see him just once more. My heart feels as though it’s being torn from my chest when I see him there. He’s so peaceful and content. I would give anything to be that way.
As much as I want to stay, I can’t because we will never move forward. Each time I look at Quinn, I see the life we dreamed of that we can never have. The child we wanted, the life we planned, the hearts that are now broken and can’t be repaired, that’s what keeps haunting me. If I go now, maybe I can create a new future where I won’t be reminded at every turn of all we’ve lost.
“Goodbye, Quinn,” I whisper to the wind.
My feet move down the stairs, but my heart remains there. I don’t need it because it’ll never be anyone else’s but his.
Memories assault me with each step I take. The first time he kissed me. The way we looked at each other the night we met and how I couldn’t keep my eyes from him. I remember the first time we slept together and the butterflies that rooted in my stomach.
Now they can fly.
Quinn has always been the man I knew I’d never get over. He imprinted himself onto my soul, and I’m not strong enough to erase him. No one would understand why I’m doing this, but there’s no way I can go through the rest of my life being unfair to him. I have to make a clean break.
I get to the door where my bag sits, and I remove the ring from my finger. Only then do I allow myself to cry. The first time I saw this ring, it was a symbol of so much hope and happiness. The second time, it was nothing but a desperate Hail Mary.
My, how the times have changed.
I bring the diamond to my lips, kissing it and hoping he won’t come after me so that this can be our goodbye.
I place it down, lingering for a moment because, in another life, I wouldn’t be getting in a cab to leave. I’d be in bed with him, loving him, kissing him, giving him everything because he is the best man I know. This isn’t that life, and I don’t want to be the target of his resentment.
So, I must go.
I gather my bags and walk out of the door. My tears fall faster as I make my way to the cab.
“Where to?” The driver turns to look at me.
“Anywhere but here.”
He starts to move but stops when we hear a loud banging on the door.
My heart falters when I see him standing there. His hair is a mess, and his eyes are filled with fear. “Don’t go! God, don’t do this. Don’t fucking leave like this!”
“Let me go. You have to let me go!”
“I can’t. I love you! I love you, and we got engaged today. Please. We’ll figure this out. Just stay!”
I shake my head and turn back to the driver. “Please drive.”
“Miss, are you sure?”
