Page 59 of Hold You Close
Me:No. I just want to give you an out.
Yes,that’s it. I want him to have the chance to say he was joking now, before my heart softens even the slightest bit. My emotions with Ian are a rubber band in so many ways. I stretch and stretch until I’m at the point of snapping, but if I eased the tension, I’d go right back to my original form.
I’m used to being stretched.
I almost prefer that because when I wasn’t, I was head over heels in love with him.
If this goes bad, there’s no doubt I’ll break.
Ian:Good. Open your door.
Me: My door?
What the hell?
I walk down the stairs and do as he says.
When I open it, he’s standing there shirtless with his shorts sitting low on his hips.
“Hey,” I say.
Ian steps forward, grips my face in his hands, and kisses me.
I’m thrown so far off guard that I fall back a little, but he’s got me. His lips mold to mine and I hold onto him for support. He cradles my cheeks in his hands, holding me right where he wants me. I can’t think as he continues to kiss me.
I never want this to stop. Every woman should know what this kind of kiss feels like. The passion right now is so overwhelming, I could drown in it.
After God only knows how long, he leans back, pressing our foreheads together.
“I’ve wanted to kiss you like that for a long time,” he says as I try to calm my racing heart. “I’m not changing my mind. I want us to go out and have fun, and then I’m going to kiss you on your doorstep and walk to my house thinking about how much I want you. I’ll wonder if you’re in your bed, thinking about me and wishing you were back in my bed. I’ve spent a long time trying to hate you, London, but the truth is I never really did. So.” He leans back and our eyes meet. “Have a safe trip and I’ll see you when you get back.”
My lips part and I stand there at a total loss for words. Is this the same Ian I’ve spent my entire adult life hating, yet somehow knowing it was just because in the depths of my heart I still loved him?
He kisses my cheek and walks out the door, leaving me a mess.
I blink a few times, waiting for the dream to end, to wake up, but nothing changes. Holy fucking shit, this day just keeps getting weirder.
Somehow, I make it back to my room, where all the contents of my suitcase are strewn across the bed.
Fuck it. I’ll just buy clothes in New Jersey. There’s no way I can pack now.
“I’m reallyglad you came out, London. This meeting was everything we hoped for. It’s why we went with your company.”
It’s been non-stop meetings in Atlantic City. I have never been so physically and emotionally exhausted.
“Thank you for having me out and for taking such good care of me. I look forward to working with you and getting the proposal to you by next week.” I smile warmly.
Right now, I don’t even know what I’d analyze because I’m beat. I barely slept, even though the owner of the casino put me up in his penthouse suite and I was more than comfortable. Sure, I could try to blame the time change, but that would be a lie. It was all because when I closed my eyes, all I saw was Ian. Everything reminded me of him, the night we spent together, the kids, or the things he said before I left.
“Good. We’ll talk soon, have a safe trip back home.”
“Thanks again.”
I get into the black sedan to head back to the airport. Back to the kids and Ian.
It’s strange how in just a few short weeks my entire life has been altered. Things were so simple before. I wouldn’t have hesitated to take this trip because I had nothing keeping me in Vegas. Sabrina wasn’t impacted by my work life and she was really all I had.
Now, it’s the kids and Ian. I spent the entire trip messaging them, trying to make sure everyone was okay and didn’t need anything.
