Page 42 of Hold You Close
“How’s that?” he asks.
“Because now we go back to living life. I’m working, they’re in school. We were sort of living in a world of false security before, you know?”
Toby’s parents died when he was sixteen. Instead of going to a family member, he went into the system. No one wanted an emotionally fucked-up teenager, so he was pretty much between foster homes and on the street.
He told me a few stories back when we drank way too much in our early days.
“Look,” he says as he stops wiping the counter. “You’re doing a good thing. Whatever anyone says, you’ve got my respect. Those kids need you, and no matter what you’re giving up, it’s worth it.”
Some days it feels like I’ve given up nothing. I may be an idiot most days, but I love those kids. There was never really a question of keeping them. Hell, even if Sabrina chose someone else, I would’ve been a part of their lives.
It’s just that the timing that sucks. This club is brand new. It needs time and attention, just like the kids do.
Who the fuck thought I could handle this?
London didn’t and maybe she was right. The fact is, even if she is right and I’m the wrong man for the job, I won’t fail those kids. I love them too much, and they’re all that’s left of my sister now. I have to do right by her and prove that she was doing the right thing in choosing me over her best friend.
Then there’s London. She’s a whole other set of issues. Our relationship is changing, or at least the way I think about her is, which is scaring the shit out of me.
It’s weird, because for so long I’ve focused on hating her, and now I can’t seem to stop imagining being around her. She’s a pain in my ass, but she’s also saving it at the same time. If it weren’t for her help, I’d be totally fucked.
I have to make sure those kids feel secure in their new life. London and I can at least agree that they come first.
“I appreciate it. Listen, I’m going to need some extra help around here. I’d like you to start training a new bartender so you can help out with more management stuff. My niece has some things coming up, and apparently it’s an entire weekend where I’ll need to take off. There will probably be a lot more of these too. I’d like to have you and Drea run the show when I need to be at home.”
There’s no one else I would trust to do this. He knows how this scene works and how to grow. Drea can manage the customer side and Toby can cover the business aspects when I’m gone.
“Are you sure? I mean, I’m cool with helping out, but . . .”
“Yeah, man, I’m sure.”
“All right. There’s a few bartenders from another club looking to make a change. I’ll see if any are available on the nights you need me to do other stuff.”
I look down at my watch and groan. “I need to get going, it’s already three and I have to get the kids to school by eight.”
He laughs. “Better you than me.”
“It would be better if it was their parents,” I say before draining my glass.
“Yeah, see you tomorrow, Ian.”
I head out the back door, getting into my Porsche, and leaning my head back. I’m fucking beat. I’m used to long, late hours but I usually can sleep in. Now, I’m up at o’dark thirty and still have to stay up. Once I drop them off at school, I have no plans of getting out of bed.
A smile forms when I think about what might be waiting for me in that bed.
London Parish.
I want nothing more than to get home and find her lying there, hair spilled across my pillow. I’ll crawl in behind her, wrap my arms around her, and then I’ll fuck her senseless. If I can just get this crazy lust I feel for her out of my system, then maybe we can go back to normal.
Not wanting to wait another second, I start driving home.
It takes about fifteen minutes and when I turn on the street, the house is pitch black. Being as quiet as I can, I go inside.
First, I head upstairs, open each of the kids’ rooms, and check on them. I don’t know why, but being away from them was an oddly uncomfortable experience. I wondered if they were okay all night long. Did Morgan finish her homework? How was Chris’s attitude? Did London make sure Ruby had her ratty panda to go to sleep with?
Then I thought about her.
Once I’ve checked on them all, I go to my room. I’m not sure if she took me up on the offer to sleep in my bed, so I use the light on my phone, but the bed is empty.
