Page 15 of Hold You Close
Ian smirks. “I’m sure your cat won’t mind. And it’s not like there’s ever a man around, so the kids don’t have to worry about your dating life. Seems like a perfect solution.”
My jaw drops. “You are such an asshole.”
“So you’d rather I hire someone the kids don’t know? What if Ruby cries? Or Morgan can’t do her homework? You’re fine with a stranger coming into their life?” Ian tosses back.
Once again, he’s reminded me why I loathe him. This is what we are. We fight. Claw, scratch, and tear each other apart. He’s an asshole and I’m a bitch. We bring out the worst in each other. It’s been this way since . . . I let him in.
One mistake.
One night.
One thing that will never happen again.
“You can’t bully me into this,” I say. “You can’t push your way to getting what you want. I’m doing the right thing for them, not you. It’s no wonder Jolene left you, because you’re selfish! God forbid you don’t get your way. God forbid you have to think of anyone but yourself. God forbid you love. God forbid—”
Before I can say another word, Ian’s lips are pressed against mine. I lock up completely. I don’t breathe or move, in total shock. His hands are holding my face, refusing to let me get away. I couldn’t if I wanted to because our lips are touching.
After a few seconds, Ian releases me. I stand there, unsure what the hell just happened. Ian kissed me. He just grabbed me and kissed me. I used to dream of his mouth on mine. So many nights I wished he would come to me, tell me he felt something, say he was sorry, kiss me again, love me, but he never did. Each day that passed my heart sank deeper into despair. Each week that went by I hardened myself to him. Each year it grew into a hate so deep we couldn’t even be in the same room. But I’ve refused to let him see the damage he’s done.
He just took that from me. With one touch of our lips, the pain returned with a vengeance. Without thinking, I lift my hand, and slap him across the face.
Four
Ian
“What the fuck?” I scowl at London as if I can’t understand why she hit me. The truth is, I know exactly why my cheek is stinging right now.
What I don’t know is why I fucking kissed her in the first place. One second I was standing there listening to her go off about what a terrible person I am, listing all my faults and flaws, digging at me where it hurts the most, and the next second I had the uncontrollable impulse to crush my mouth against hers like I was nineteen again.
“What the fuck?” Her face is all fiery outrage. Her hands are clenched into fists. “You argue with me, you insult me, you take me down a notch in front the kids, and then out of nowhere you kiss me, and you have the nerve to ask me ‘what the fuck?’ I should be asking you that question, Ian! So what the fuck?”
“I didn’t take you down a notch.” I straighten my tie, although it was perfectly straight. “I was putting the kids first, like we’re supposed to. It’s obvious to me the kids don’t want to live in a house that reminds them of their parents.”
“And it’s obvious to me you’re just as self-centered as you ever were. Some things never change.” Her icy green eyes narrow, and she jerks her chin at me. “Now why did you kiss me? I deserve an answer.”
Since the whole truth isn’t an option, I give her a partial one, retreating into the role of Insensitive Asshole, which is what she thinks I am anyway. “To shut you up.”
Her jaw drops, and she puts a hand on her chest. “To shut me up? Did those words really just come out of your mouth? Because that’s a new low even for you.”
“It worked, didn’t it?” I shrug. “Told you I’m a smart guy.”
“You are unfuckingbelievable.”
“You know, I believe I’ve heard that from a woman before. Of course, she was wearing much less clothing than you are . . .” Just to be an even bigger jerk, I drop my eyes from her face down to her black high heels and slowwwwly bring my gaze up again. “But I’m pretty sure those were her exact words.”
She parks her hands on her hips. “See? This is exactly why you are not fit to raise those kids. I cannot imagine what your sister was thinking.”
That pisses me off. “Maybe she was thinking that she knows what’s best for her children—to be raised by a blood relative who loves them, who can give them every advantage, and who will teach them not to be condescending, judgmental assholes that think they know everything.” A little harsh, maybe, but I’m sick and tired of her treating me like dog shit on the bottom of her shoe. Just because I don’t reveal my feelings very often doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
She’s taken aback, and for a second I think she might hit me again. I don’t back away. Let her do it if she wants to.
But she doesn’t. She drops her arms to her sides, gathers herself up and takes a deep breath. When she speaks, her voice is calm. “I am going to be the grown-up in the room and stop fighting with you. You want to move the kids into your house? Fine. You think they’ll be happy to leave the only home they’ve ever known? Fine. You think your lifestyle is suitable for children? Fine.”
“As a matter of fact, that’s exactly what I think. So you can just turn around, and walk your little grown-up ass right on out of here.” I gesture toward the door. “I don’t need you to tell me how to raise my nieces and nephew. And I don’t need your help.”
She crosses her arms over her chest. “You don’t think you need my help?” Her expression is almost amused, which pisses me off even more.
“No. I don’t.” I stand up a little taller. “You can see them whenever you want to, but I’ve changed my mind about sharing them. Sabrina and David left them to me. And the last thing I need is you in my face all the time, telling me I’m doing things wrong. They’re my blood, my family, my responsibility.”
