Page 34 of One Last Time
I’m being a nice guy, that’s all. It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I still smell her shampoo in my nose, feel her skin against mine, and want to hear herlaugh.
Kristin tucks her brown hair behind her ear and tilts her head. “Well, we’re not New York City, that’s for sure, but I love Whiskey Joe’s. It’s low-key, and since it’s off-season, you won’t gethounded.”
There’s nothing more appealing than the idea of privacy with Kristin, but I remember to keep myself in check since this is business. “Soundsgreat.”
“I haven’t been there in so long, I love the food and it’s right on thebeach.”
Her excitement has me wishing we were already there. Dinner and a moonlit stroll on the beach with her might satisfy my need to be around her. I want to know what it is about her that has me twistedinside.
“Why haven’t yougone?”
She turns her head to look at me with a sad smile. “Life.”
I get it more than she knows. Some of my favorite things I’ve quit doing because my days are reading lines, traveling, press bullshit, and personal trainers. The last few months have been the first chance I’ve gotten to take any time to do things I enjoy. “Life can sure get in theway.”
“Life can be abitch.”
I laugh. “Yeah . . . itcan.”
She releases a heavy sigh, and I can almost feel the weight on her shoulders. I remember the way my mother would do the same. “Tell me more about your kids,” Iprompt.
Kristin instantly perks up and smiles. “Well, Finn is difficult, but he’s my spirit animal. I swear, that kid is so much like me it’s a littlescary.”
“Scary? From what I know, you’re prettyawesome.”
“Oh, yeah!” Kristin giggles. “I’m a whole lot of awesome when I’m drunk or passed out. Life goals rightthere.”
I want to reach over and take her hand because, even in her laughter, I hear the pain. There’s something inside me that wants to comfort her, but I don’t. I have to keep my lines clear. “We all need to relax alittle.”
“I clearly need to find a way to balancethat.”
I shake my head. “One night of letting go doesn’t make you reckless. So, what does Finn like todo?”
She shrugs and turns herself a little to face me. “Finn is very mechanical. I watch him take things apart and put them back together. He’s definitely a literal kind of person, who thinks directions are meant to be followed. Aubrey is a free spirit. That girl is going to be big trouble when she’solder.”
As she speaks, I think about the fact that I have none of these things. Money, fame, and nice things aren’t fulfilling. Once upon a time, I wanted a life like hers. Kids and a family were the only things on my mind, but that evaporated quickly. If only things hadn’t happened the way they did thatnight.
My heart begins to pound so hard in my chest I swear I could bruise. It’s been so long since I’ve allowed myself a moment to think abouther.
Think about all the plans we had and how they were tornaway.
“Noah?” Kristin touches my arm. “Are you allright?”
“Sorry,” I say quickly. “You were telling me about Aubrey?” I think that’s hername.
Kristin’s hand drops, and I feel the loss. Fuck. What is it with this girl? It can’t just be that she’s gorgeous. I’ve seen plenty of hot chicks and have been fine. If I could place it, I could figure out how to deal withit.
“We don’t have to talk about my kids,” sheoffers.
“I’m not complaining. If you’d rather talk about somethingelse. . .”
“I don’t want to boreyou.”
The thing is, I never get to do this anymore. Normal conversations don’t exist in my world. People are either asking me a million questions or trying to get something from me. “I have a feeling I’ll do a lot of talking about myself once we get our dategoing.”
“Working. Dinner.” Kristin glances at me with the momlook.
“Sure. Our working dinner.” My voice is patronizing. “How about you tell me about Heather and your friends? Eli’s stories are . . .entertaining.”
