Page 116 of One Last Time
My mind spins worse than it was before, I can’t handle another bomb dropping. If he’s here, this can’t be good. “Just handle whatever it is,” I say and start to walk away. “I’m not in the mood for badnews.”
“Kristin didn’t do it,” Tristan says, and my feet stopmoving.
I clench my fists, trying to keep myself steady. I don’t want to hope what I heard is true. There’s a possibility that I might still be drunk and be dreaming this conversation. My stomach twists as I turn to face him. “What?”
“She wasn’t the one who sent that email, Noah. We had the IP address traced, and it didn’t come from her house or yours. It came from someoneelse.”
Please, let this be real. Please, let this betrue.
“Who, then? How do you know any ofthis?”
“I can’t say much more than that at this point. I need to have plausible deniability in case this gets out. There’s a lot of legalities that she’d prefer me to be in the dark about, but Catherine is one hundred percent sure that it wasn’t Kristin. She wouldn’t give me more than that before demanding I get on a plane and get toyou.”
I shake my head while looking at the sky. I want to believe this more than anything. Losing Kristin has beenagonizing.
“You’re sure?” I pressharder.
“Look, Catherine was ready to do what she had to, but she has proof that there was no way Kristin could have sentit.”
The guilt I feel crumbles on top of me, making it hard to breathe. I didn’t believe her. She told me, begged me to listen to her, and I walked away. Even after I hurt her, she sent a text to tell me she lovesme.
I hatemyself.
I should’ve stayed, trusted her, and found a way to prove she didn’t writeit.
How the hell could I have known, though? All the signs pointed to her, and I just accepted it. Deep down, I never believed it, but I’ve learned that people you love can do horrible things. People I’ve trusted have betrayed me, and I didn’t want to be a fucking foolagain.
Too late forthat.
“So I waswrong?”
“Yes, we allwere.”
No, I was wrong. I’m the person who she needed to trust her. This is onme.
“Goddamn it!” I slam my fist into the wall. “I’m such a fucking idiot. I threw her away soeasily.”
Tristan places his hand on my shoulder. “What were you supposed to think, man? You had an article with her name on it, on her blog, sent from her email address. It was more thancoincidental.”
“I fucked up, Tristan. I fucked up, and she’s never going to forgiveme.”
He blows a heavy breath from his nose. “She’ll see where you were coming from. It was an impossible situation. You did what anyone would’vedone.”
That doesn’t change the fact that I left. I turned my back on her just like people did tome.
“And you think she’ll just forget that I gave up on her thatquickly?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. I really don’t, but in this industry, you did exactly what you needed to. She has to understandthat.”
“You don’t get it. She isn’t in this industry likethat.”
“How not? She’s a celebrity blogger, Noah. You do a feature against my recommendation, and fall in love with her, and then, suddenly, something we’ve managed to keep out of the press is leaked after you confide in her? Comeon.”
Who cares about the reasons? There’s a right and a wrong, and I chose wrong. I abandoned her when she clung to me, begging me not to go. Maybe I did what was best for my career, but not for us, or her, or my damnheart.
I lean against the wall and let my head fall back, making a loudthump. “Others believed her.” I point out. “Someone else dugdeeper.”
Tristan leans against the wall next to me, and my self-loathing grows. I could’ve done whatever necessary to prove she didn’t or really did. It isn’t as if I don’t have the capability, but I saw no other possibilities than it washer.
