Page 107 of One Last Time
“I need to talk to her first,” I tellhim.
“Regardless, I’m on your side, and it’s my job to put this fireout.”
“Do what you have to do, but I’m . . . I don’t fuckingknow.”
I’m not sure how to deal with the intensity of the betrayal rolling through me. How the hell could she think this would be okay? How could she take something I told her in complete confidence, with complete trust, and postit?
My hand grips the mug, and I start to shake. Nervous energy fills me, and I need to make sense of this. Tanya’s parents received a large sum of money when I got my first big payout as a donation to the scholarship in her name. My lawyers handled it all very quietly with a lot of ironclad rules regarding what they could say about myinvolvement.
They forgave me many years ago and wouldn’t betray me, would they? I can’t see why, they knew how much I loved her. Her mother was relieved when I told her about Kristin and me. She said it was time I moved on and stopped living in thepast.
I start to go down a list of people who never believed it, but why now? Why after all this time? And how the hell would any of them know aboutKristin?
At the end of the day, it doesn’t fucking matter, it’s Kristin’s article. It’s her name on that post. I trusted her, loved her, gave her my heart, only to have her destroy me. And for what? Why keep going once she got the information? Why is she in mybed?
I need to talk to her before I lose my goddamnmind.
Each step I take has my heart beating louder. My emotions are all over the place, and it’s impossible to get my thoughts inorder.
Placing the laptop on the floor, I sit on the side of the bed, staring at her face, and do my best to ignore the stabbing pain in my chest. My throat constricts as I reach to touch her. Once this happens, there’s no going back, and if I could rewind right now, I would. I’d stay in yesterday and pray that today neverhappens.
“Kristin?” I gently squeeze her shoulder. “Kristin, wakeup.”
She rolls onto her back and smiles when her eyes meet mine. “Hi.”
The way she looks at me breaks me. This isn’t the look of a girl who just fucked my entire career. She’s looking at me like I’m her savior. I need her to give me a reason so I can find a way to fixit.
“Kristin, the article published,” Isay.
“Oh? I thought it was posting tomorrow. Did you read it?” She sits up, pulling the sheets over her nakedbody.
“Didyou?”
“Well, yeah, I wrote it.” Sheshrugs.
“Youwrote it?” I ask. “No one else helpedyou?”
She tilts her head and laughs. “Of course I wrote it, silly. I emailed it to my editor a week ago, and we went over the edits a few days ago. You didn’t like it? I thought . . . I wasn’t sure if you would, but Ihoped. . .”
I close my eyes and take a deep breath through my nose. “You thought I’d be okay withthis?”
“Noah?” She touches my arm, and I pull back. “Why aren’t you? I don’t . . . you’reangry?”
“You’re damn right I’m angry, Kris. I can’t believe you actually wrote that! How the fuck couldyou?”
Kristin shifts back and hurt flashes in her eyes. “What the hell was so bad? It’s thetruth!”
I get to my feet and grip my head. She can’t be this stupid. I know she isn’t. She knows how much it tore me apart. We sat in her bed as I fucking broke down and cried to her. There was nothing in that night where I said she should write aboutit.
Unable to hold it in, I turn to her and throw my hands in the air. “I didn’t know I should’ve specified I needed to be off the record when I told you aboutTanya!”
“Tanya?” She jerks her head back. “What are you talkingabout?”
“Don’t play dumb, Kris. You admitted not two seconds ago to writing the fuckingarticle.”
She gets to her feet, wrapping the sheet around her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I didn’t write anything aboutTanya.”
I’m not sure if it’s worse that she admitted to it or that she’s suddenly playing stupid. If she were going to sell me out, she could at least stand by it. However, I’m too pissed to say a word toher.
