Page 80 of We Own Tonight
“Have you read it?” My voice trembles as I take it fromher.
“No, it’s for you, honey. Do you want me tostay?”
Kristin is one of my best friends, she knows me inside and out, but it’s not my girls that I want right now. It’s really astounding how when I gave my heart completely over to Eli, he became so essential to me, and I want to sit next to him as I readthis.
“Would you be angry if I said I wantedEli. . .”
“Don’t even finish that thought.” Kristin gets to her feet. “I would never be upset. I’ll go get him.” She kisses my cheek and walksout.
I stare at the envelope with my name on the front, and my stomach is filled with knots. I feel Eli’s presence as he enters theroom.
“Kristin told me before she came in.” The sound of his voice eases a little of the fear. “You want me inhere?”
“Ido.”
He sits beside me, and I place my hand on his leg. I feel tethered to Earth around him. I need him to anchor me so I don’t drift into the pain of whatever I’m about toread.
My finger slides under the glue, separating the flap to reveal a single piece of paper folded inside. I let out a deep sigh and pull itopen.
My Sisterwho became my Mother . . . myMister,
If you have this letter, I’m dead. Don’t cry. Although, I have a feeling my asking that is like telling the sky to be yellow. You were always so dramatic, even when we were kids. You should stop that. We all knew this was going to happen, and I know you won’t understand this, but I’m glad it’s over. I have no idea how long it’ll be after I’ve written this until it’s in your hands, but know that I was ready. I was ready not to be a burden on you anymore. I was ready not to be in pain. Mostly, I was ready to befree.
You never let me be broken after Mom and Dad were taken from us. You were the rock. It couldn’t have been easy to become my parent. Especially when I was going through that goth phase, which I still think I rocked. However, I never worried if you’d be there. The day I got my diagnosis, I lost my life, and so did you. We went from being in this relationship where I hated you for telling me I couldn’t go on a date with Tyler Bradley—who, by the way, was not a bad guy for smoking—to having to worry about painkillers. Our Saturday nights weren’t movies and popcorn; they were tremors and numbness. I hated watching you go from being happy and married to divorced anddepressed.
You can try to convince yourself that you didn’t care, but no one is that selfless. And if you truly believe my disease didn’t rob you of anything, then I’ll tell God you should be the next Saint. Although, I’m sure he knows about the time you had sex with Vincent in Mom and Dad’s bed. Yeah, I totally heard you . . .gross.
My point to this letter is that you’re free as well. You don’t have to worry anymore. I know that you’ll think I’m being stupid and I can hear you saying how you don’t want to be free, but I do. I want you to be free. I want you to go out with your friends and have one-night stands, because I can’t. I want you to find someone who isn’t a loser and wants you to be a Stepfordwife.
I want you to know this above anything else. You were the best Mister anyone could ever have. You are the only thing I will miss when I’m gone. On a side note, don’t think I don’t plan to haunt you. I’m going to be an awesome ghost. I figure it’ll be like that movie you made me watch where Whoopi teaches the ghost guy how to move objects. So, when the remote goes flying because you’re watching that awful cop show, you know it’s me telling you to find something better towatch.
I’m going to stop rambling, but seriously, I love you so much. Thank you for being my Mister and notMomster.
So, in order to ensure you live your life after I’m gone, there are three more letters. I figured Kristin was the weakest link in your group, so she got the first one . . . the next you’ll get on your wedding day. Because you need to find love again. You need to have someone who will take care ofyoufor a change. Go find him so you can hear from me again! I promise, it’s a goodone!
I love you always andforever.
Stephanie
Ifoldthe letter back with a mix of tears and a smile. It would be just like my sister to leave me on a cliffhanger so I’d do what shewanted.
I look at Eli, who’s studying me closely. “She was always such a ballbuster, it’s good to know even in death she kept that abouther.”
“What did shesay?”
I laugh, thinking about the one thing she wrote about him. “She thinks your show is crap and doesn’t want me to watchit.”
He laughs and tugs me against his side. “Yeah, she mentioned that I needed to find better actingjobs.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Heather
“Are you nervous?”he asks as we sit outside another ridiculous mansion on SanibelIsland.
“Of course I am,” I chuckle. “I’m going to meet yourfamily!”
It’s been four days since the memorial, and while I’ve loved it being just Eli and me, I’m excited to spend some time with other people. I wish it wasn’t the first time meeting them and it wasn’t his famous brother’s family. It’s Eli’s nephew, Adriel’s birthday, so his family is having the adults over tocelebrate.
