Page 75 of We Own Tonight
I waswrong.
Eli is none of those things, except rich. He’s definitely that, but he’s never selfish with me. We’ve watched television, had takeout, and he’s held me as I’vecried.
I wrap my arms around him and snuggle closer, inhaling his scent. I love the mix of soap, sandalwood, and musk that is him. He’s asleep, but he instinctively squeezes me tighter. I watch his face as whatever he dreams of makes him smile. I trace the lines on his cheek with the tip of my finger, grazing each little spike of hisscruff.
“Hi.” He smiles as his eyes flutteropen.
“Hi.”
He shifts a little lower to his side. “Did yousleep?”
I’m not sure that I’ve really slept since that first night. It isn’t for lack of trying, but my body won’t relax. The second night, I woke Eli with my sobs. I relived the entire event at the hospital, only this time I made it in time to watch her fadeaway.
My mind played every scenario out in the worst way. I don’t know now if it’s a good thing that I wasn’t there. If it was anything like I imagine, I know I wouldn’t be just mourning. I wouldn’t have survived. I was never more grateful for Eli’s presence than I was when I woke, covered in sweat and tears pouring down myface.
“I think Idid.”
“Good. How about we grab somefood?”
I haven’t eaten much, and thinking about food makes my stomach growl. “I guess I amhungry.”
He laughs. “Come on, I’mstarved.”
I follow him into the bathroom and almost scream when I see my face in the mirror. My eyes have dark circles under them. Makeup is now dried on my skin, and I’m not sure if it’s somehow become permanent. I won’t even talk about the mess that is my hair. Jesus. I glance over at Eli, who looks as perfect as always. His hair only looks sexy in its disheveled state, there aren’t any dark circles under his eyes. The deep lines of his hips are more prominent as the basketball shorts hangloosely.
Eli’s eyes move to mine, and he appraises me. “What?” he asks with agrin.
I think he knows I’m checking him out, but I shrug, not caring that I got caught. “Nothing.”
He comes closer, pressing his lips to mine. “You look at me like that, and I can’t help but kissyou.”
“Like what?” Iask.
“You’ll figure it out soon enough.” His kiss is quick and silences me from asking what the hell he sees in myeyes.
When he pulls back, I open my mouth to get my question out, but he moves toward the shower, slowly removing his pants. I stare at his broad shoulders, the way his muscles tense on his back, his now bare ass, and I can’tspeak.
For the first time in three days, I want something more to ease my pain. Not food, or him holding me. I need him to make me forget who I am. I feel alone, broken, and Eli has pushed me to stay out of thenumbness.
I want to get lost in his green eyes and have him make me feel pleasure. He’s spent every minute ensuring I felt safe. I think back to what Stephanie said:You have to promise me that you’ll let your heart be open. Can you dothat?
She was asking so much more than that. She was practically begging me to let myself be vulnerable enough to loveagain.
“Are you coming in?” Eli asks as he stands in the shower, water dripping down each delicious inch ofhim.
A thought strikes me, halting my feet. I was never more vulnerable than I have been the last three days. I let him see me at my lowest, and he’s still here with his hand outstretched, calling me tohim.
I step toward the man who I never thought I’d feel anything more than lust for. Each stride forward cements what I already knew was happening—I’m falling in love with EliWalsh.
The steam circles around us as we stand in front of each other. My heart races with the knowledge of my deepening feelings. How did I get here so fast? Is it true that when two people are right for each other, time is irrelevant? Out of all the people in the world, is he really who I’m meant to bewith?
His green eyes fill with wonder, as if we’re sharing the same thoughts, and I know . . . I lovehim.
I lift my hand and place it on his chest. His heartbeat quickens as we both gaze at eachother.
“Tell me what you’re thinking.” Eli’s voice is heavy withconfliction.
I’m terrified that if I say the truth, he’ll laugh. I’m frightened that I’ll lose him, like I lose everyone else. The crippling fear keeps me from saying it, but I give him what I can. “That I’m not alone because of you. That I’m afraid of losingyou.”
