Page 51 of We Own Tonight
Maybe it’s because I’mold.
Maybe it’s because it’sher.
No matter what the reason is, I justknow.
Stephanie’s smile is wide, and I can feel the happiness rolling off her. “She needs someone to take care of her. I know she doesn’t act like it, but shedoes.”
It’s clear that these two have each other’s best interests at heart. Here Stephanie is worried about her while Heather is always trying to helpher.
“We all do,right?”
She nods. “As much as I’d love to pretend you’re here because I’m so amazing and you needed to know more about me, tell me what really brought youhere.”
I lean in closer and grin. Heather has no idea what’s in store for our date, but I’m hoping it shows her there are other sides to me. I do a lot that has nothing to do with music or Hollywood. I’d like to have her sister be there as well as asurprise.
I can’t wait to see Heather’s face when I pull this off. “How good are you at lying to your sister for a goodcause?”
Chapter Fourteen
Heather
“What doyou mean you didn’t want me to stop by?” I ask Stephanie as I try to organize her room the way it was a week ago. She came back to Breezy Beaches yesterday and refused to let me do anything last night. She said she needed to be alone and practically threw me out the door. Today, I didn’t care what she said, I came anyway even with her bitch-o-meter being at an eleven out often.
She sits on the bed, glaring at me. “You never fucking listen to me! I don’t want you to come! I’m tired, I’m finally back home and I want to just . . .” She pauses and thengroans.
Today is a bad day. She’s struggling to string words together and is gettingfrustrated.
I wait and then the words burst out. “Settle in! I want to be in this hellholealone.”
“I am listening. I haven’t really been with you a lot lately.” I try to explain. “I love you,Steph.”
She starts to cough and swats my hand away. “You were at the hospital every single day. I’m asking for a d-d-day to myself! Why is that so hard for y-you? Why can’t you let me bealone?”
I sit on the edge of the bed and sigh. “I’m sorry. I’m trying here. I’m doing the best Ican.”
It breaks my heart when she’s like this. I never know what will happen, and fighting with her literally kills me. If tomorrow never comes, I don’t want this to be our last conversation. Whenever it goes down this path, I have to swallow my hurt and anger. I hide the pain and do what I can to try to turn this around. I know what regret feels like, and I never want that forus.
Stephanie goes quiet for a few minutes, touches my shoulder, and then releases a heavy breath. “I hate this f-f-fucking disease!” Tears fill her eyes, and I pull her in my arms. “You sh-shouldn’t have to be around me. I’mmean!”
Rocking back and forth with her in my arms allows me to keep my own tears at bay. It isn’t her fault that she’s having a bad day. It’s the way it goes. Her symptoms are worsening, and we both know it. The outbursts have become more frequent over the last few months, her speech is declining, and the medicine isn’t doing as much for her tremors. Yesterday, the doctor told me frankly that this is the beginning of thedecline.
“You’re not mean, you’re doing the best you can.” I know this isn’t herfault.
“I didn’t want to come back here. I wanted to stay at the hospital forlonger.”
“Why?” I ask and take her hand in mine. “You hate the damnhospital.”
“I miss Anthony. I liked seeing him every day. I liked knowing he’d stop by the room and talk to me like I wasn’t this poor d-dying girl. He saw me as a girl, woman, whatever . . . the point is that he sawme, Heather. Not the tremors, locking joints, problemsremembering. . .”
I hate that anyone sees her that way atall.
“Did you call him?” Iask.
Anthony has been good for her. He was in her room after his shift each day, bringing her comic books and flowers. The bouquet of varying shades of vibrant purple and pink roses with plush hydrangeas mixed in that he brought her was breathtaking. I tried not to make a big deal of it, but the fact that Anthony cared so much made my heartswell.
“No, I’m not going to make him watch me die.” Stephanie is stubborn. She always has been, and I worry she’ll push him away without a chance of any happiness. On the other hand, I can’t imagine what knowing she is dying and having people she loves watch feels like toher.
What can I even say to that? She’s allowed to make her choices, and I have to understand that. Even though I think she’swrong.
