Page 41 of We Own Tonight
“Not the point. And that was three years ago. Look, you need to come calm me down. I’m going to end up on the floor from a panicattack.”
“I thought you didn’t like him,” she tosses back atme.
“Idon’t!”
I totallydo.
I like everything about him so far. The only thing that keeps me hung up is the whole famous and wealthy thing. He lives on Harbour Island, and I don’t even have enough money to dream of stepping foot there. Hell, the only time I’ve ever been there was on acall.
Panic starts to take hold, and my breathing becomeslabored.
“Heather?”
“I . . .” I gasp. “Can’t.”
“Okay.” Nicole’s voice turns soft and controlled. “Breathe. Just relax. Think about the fact that he’s chasing you. You’re gorgeous, funny, and own a gun. You can shoot him in the dick if he upsetsyou.”
Slowly, I gain control as I laugh at the last part. “What am Ithinking?”
“You’re thinking about yourself, babe. It’s a good thing. You deserve to be happy and have some damn fun. Why are you overthinkingthis?”
My biggest worry is that I’ll get swept up in this pretend life, and when reality comes crashing around me, I’ll bebroken.
Life isn’t full of rainbows and sunshine. It’s cloudy days and tornados that twist everything I loveaway.
“What happens when he finds out about my insane life andleaves?”
“What if he stands byyou?”
It’s my turn to laugh. “Yeah, what man doesn’t love a woman who has no time forhim?”
“Then youmaketime! You worry about shit that probably won’t even be an issue. If he doesn’t understand your life, then he doesn’t belong init.”
“You’reright.”
Nicole sighs. “I know I am. Look, you’re my best friend, and I love you when you don’t call me before the fucking sun isup.”
“Sorry.” I lie back on the couch, hating my weakness. Self-doubt is abitch.
“Don’t be sorry, be Heather. Be the girl who is fearless, full of confidence, and knows what an amazing woman she is. Because that’s who you are. You’re not what Matt turned youinto.”
Another reason to hate him. When he left me, I started to wonder if I was worth anything. I know in some part of my rational brain that he’s the idiot, but I couldn’t help but doubt myself. I gave him my heart, and he tossed it away as if it meantnothing.
All because my sister needed me more than hedid.
I’ve spent a long time trying to convince myself that he left because of his own issues, but the truth is, I wonder what’s wrong withme.
“I wish I knew where that girl went,” Iadmit.
“You’ll find her. What time does he getthere?”
“I have no idea. I forgot toask.”
Nicole bursts out laughing. “Well, this should be a funday.”
After Nicole gives me more of a pep talk, I get my emotions under control, and they are sent right back into meltdown mode when Eliknocks.
I take three deep breaths before opening thedoor.
