Page 100 of We Own Tonight
I believe him. Eli and I both have a lot of shit in our pasts that will be our demise if we don’t work throughit.
“I don’t think you meant to hurt me, but it did, which is why I needed to walk away before I said something I’dregret.”
“I thought you left,” he admits with dejection laced in his voice. “I didn’t think you were coming back and that I lost you because ofthis. . .”
I shake my head, partially in disbelief and partially in frustration. After all that we’ve endured, I don’t know how he thinks I would be the girl to leave him because he’s sick. There is no choice for me when it comes to him. The day Eli Walsh showed up at my door, he became a part of my world. I fought it, and failed. He’s the other half of me, and there’s no way that I could ever walk away fromhim.
Which brings me to my next part of this discussion. He has to see the distinctions in how we are from ourpasts.
“I’m glad you bring that up.” I lean back so we’re not touching. I tend to think more clearly when we have a little distance. “I am not my ex-husband or your ex-girlfriend. I get that you have issues, and I do, too, but it’s completely unfair to expect me to behave like them. Not only did you compare me to Penelope but also you made me Matt in the same breath. I hate her for what she did to you, and if you don’t see the differences, then we should end thingsnow.”
People like her and Matt don’t deserve a love like ours. Eli has given me more joy in our time together than anyone was able to give me inyears.
Our relationship will be tested, but he has to know I’m not going anywhere. He’s assured me of that more times than I can count. Not only in his words but also in what he’s shown me. Now, I need to give him the sameassurances.
Eli stays silent for a few seconds, and regret rolls off him. “Jesus, I’m just fucking up left and right. I know you’re not her or him. I was pissed off at myself, and I needed to give you the reason to walkaway.”
“Is that what you want?” Iask.
His fingers wrap around my wrist and he tightens his grip. “No.”
“I’m glad, because I have no intention of going anywhere. Even if you act like an ass sometimes. I’m not some fan who loves you because I have this idealistic dream of who you are. Love isn’t some word to me, it’s everything. I shared my heart with you, not because I want perfect, but because I want you. When I look at you, I see a life together. And no matter what life throws at us, I’m going to fight for you and with you,Ellington.”
“Am I allowed to talk?” heasks.
“No, I have one last thing.” He fights a smile, but it’s probably the most important point we’ve yet to cover. “Don’t ever lie to me again. This entire thing could’ve been avoided if you had talked to me. No lies between us.Ever.”
“Okay,” he replies, releasing my wrist only to take my hand in his. “I’ll never lie to youagain.”
“You’re going to share with me, Eli. You’re going to have to let me carry your burdens just like I let you shoulder mine. But I’m not going to run from us. I’ve done that before, and you caughtme.”
Eli grips the back of my head and pulls me close so we’re nose to nose. “I’m glad you say that, because as soon as I got control of my legs, I was going to hunt you down, and you weren’t getting awayagain.”
No matter what the future throws at us, I want to walk through it with him. I need him so much it’s not evennormal.
“I don’t think you would’ve had to go far,” I admit. “I never left the hospital grounds. I couldn’t do it even though I waspissed.”
Eli releases me. “Lay withme.”
“Are yousure?”
He winces as he moves his legs over, making room. “Come on, I need to holdyou.”
I get on my side, nestling myself against his chest. I rest my chin on my hand and look at him. He smirks. “What are you smiling at?” For the first time, I can’t help but laugh a little. He’s too damnadorable.
“That you love me and couldn’t leave. I’m glad I made you falldeep.”
I roll my eyes. “Whatever, you’re just asbad.”
His smile fades, and Eli takes my face in his hands. “I’m far deeper than you even know. My life didn’t make sense until that night at the concert. I thought I knew what love was, I didn’t have a clue until you. I’ve never been more broken than when I watched you close that door. The pain I felt in that moment isn’t something I ever want to feel again.” Eli brushes his thumb against my cheek. “You’re the strongest, most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I promise that there is nothing I won’t do to prove how much I love you. Forgive me,Heather.”
I kiss his lips and then rest my forehead against his, knowing we can face the storms ahead of us together. “I forgiveyou.”
“I told you before that we could only own tonight, but that wasbullshit.”
My eyes meet his withconfusion.
“I’m going to own all of our days, nights, and everytomorrow.”
