Page 85 of Say I'm Yours
We lie hereon the blankets with her arms wrapped around me. Just like all those years ago, we’re here, alone but together, and one of us is hurting. My mind replays the conversation in the hospital on repeat.
“Trent is his son in every way that matters,” Mama says and then sighs. “We’d planned to tell him, but . . .”
“No one tells him I’m not his father.”
Not my father.
A part of my entire being slipped away in that second. He’s my father, but he’s not. The lies and deception eat away at me. They could’ve told me, but they chose to keep their secrets.
All those times I was told I was a Hennington.
Lies.
Tons of lies.
Grace props her head on my chest, and I try to calm my heart. “Talk to me,” she urges.
“There’s nothing to say.”
“Trent, don’t pull away from me, please.”
Her blue eyes beg me more than her words. I’m fighting it. I wish she knew how hard I’m trying to stop myself. When she showed up, I wanted to toss her out. Not because I didn’t want to see her but because I knew she’d fight me. She’d use every trick she could to get to me, and I would let her.
Grace has a way of breaking through the steel wall I erect. She always does, and most times, I’m grateful for it.
I look in her blue eyes and rake my fingers down her spine. “I’m glad you found me. I think I wanted you to all along.”
A phone rings, but neither of us moves. I don’t feel like talking to anyone but her right now. Grace is all I have that makes sense in my life.
She smiles and shakes her head. “Is that why you came here?”
“This is the first place we spent the night together. You slept in my arms, and I remember thinking I was a lucky bastard.”
“And you came back here to be alone with your beer?”
I chuckle and squeeze her tight. “I don’t think you get it, I needed you and you came. I didn’t want anyone, but I needed you.”
“You could’ve just went home and waited for me. You didn’t have to run away.”
I hate that I disappointed her again. I wasn’t thinking. I knew that I couldn’t stand to be around anyone. I had to go where no one would find me. I thought about going out to the cabin, but my brothers would look there. I thought about taking a hike into the woods, but didn’t feel like packing for a campout.
So, I came here.
I wish I would’ve stayed home, because once again, I caused pain to the person who has never betrayed me.
She deserves an explanation. “I didn’t want to hurt you, sweetheart. I just couldn’t look at any of them.”
Grace tilts her head and looks at me with sadness in her eyes. “You can’t stay here, honey. Your daddy needs you.”
Here we go.
I knew it was coming. I start to get agitated because I wanted to avoid all this shit. Talking to my parents isn’t going to help anything. Plus, she keeps forgetting that he already has his sons.
“Did you miss the part where I said he’s not my father?” My voice is terse, and I know she hears the anger. Her eyes close, which makes me feel like shit again. How is it that with one look from her, she can make me feel as if I kicked her dog?
“I heard you loud and clear, honey.”
Grace gets up, grabs the blanket we were using, and wraps herself tight.
