Page 67 of Say I'm Yours
“I don’t know how I lived through these last few weeks.” His eyes harden. “Seein’ you with him, it killed me, Gracie. You have no idea what it did to me.”
I roll off him and turn so we’re face to face. “It wasn’t easy for me, either. I was wrestling with tryin’ to move on while still lovin’ you. I don’t want you to think it was a cake walk for me.”
Trent shifts a little and runs his fingers against my lips. “I don’t think that. I just don’t think you can imagine what it would be like if I were datin’ Charlotte or anyone else. You want to beat the shit out of anyone who talks to you. You want to beat the shit out of yourself. It’s not easy, and it sure as hell isn’t fun.”
“Why didn’t you ever try to give me more?”
He rests his hand on my hip and gazes into my eyes. “Because I believed you’d always be there. I never thought you’d leave me. I was wrong and took you for granted. When I realized you weren’t mine anymore, that you’d given up on us and it was my fault, I woke up. I knew I had to find a way to prove what you’ve always meant to me.”
My fingers make patterns on his chest. “I hadn’t given up, I had to move on. I thought if I could date someone else, I could finally be happy. But it was you I wanted. I wanted this,” my hand presses against his heart. “I want your heart. I want you to trust me.”
His hand covers mine. “I’ll do everything I can to prove it.”
“Just don’t pull away. Don’t go back to shutting me out.”
While Trent has never been this open before, he was somewhat like this when Scarlett was killed. He was sweet, unguarded, and took care of me. I thought that was the turning point for us, but after a few weeks, he was back to not returning calls and disappearing. I don’t want that to happen this time.
“If I start to drift, pull me back.”
“I will.”
His eyes drop as he starts to succumb to the exhaustion. I tuck myself against his body, and he cocoons me with his limbs. My heart feels light as I start to fall asleep in his arms.
“Don’t let me fail you, Gracie,” he mutters against my hair. I turn back, but he looks completely out. I’m not sure if he said it or I imagined it so I turn back and try to calm my beating heart.
I really hope he doesn’t this time.
* * *
“I’m fine, Macie.” Rhett swats at her as she fixes his pillow again and fusses over him.
“I want you to be comfortable. Your first round of chemo is in the mornin’.”
Rhett looks at his wife with an adoring smile. “Okay, darlin’, if you need to make me comfortable, go right ahead.”
Trent smiles and grabs my hand. “How are you feelin’, Dad?”
“According to your mother, I’m uncomfortable.”
“You hush,” she scolds him.
We’ve stopped by the hospital the last two days to spend some time with his parents. The boys have devised a schedule that works for everyone so they can always have someone around just in case.
The doctor was very honest and told us chemo is a long shot, but it would hopefully give him more time. The fact that we don’t know how much, is making everyone tense. It doesn’t help that Rhett is having problems with his red blood cells and had to have another transfusion before he was cleared for his first chemo treatment.
Wyatt will relieve us tonight and take the next two days. With Angie finally feeling better, he’s able to be here more often. I think all the boys are trying to find their way of handling this, some better than others.
Zach is still struggling. He and Trent were fighting on the phone last night, and he had to walk out of the house to get a grip.
I tried to explain that some people pull back because they think it’ll ease their suffering, he didn’t care, which I understand as well. Trent is trying to get Zach to realize it isn’t about what he wants. That it’s about their dad and what heneeds, but emotions are irrational things.
“So,” Rhett clears his throat, “I see you got your girl back.”
Trent smirks. “I sure did, Pop. You’d be proud.”
“That’s my boy. I always knew we’d done something right with him.” He takes Macie’s hand. “I was a little worried there for a while, with him bein’ so hardheaded, but he smartened up. You make sure you keep him on the right track, Grace.”
“Hey,” Trent complains. “I’m your son, shouldn’t you be on my side?”
