Page 39 of Say I'm Yours
Trent shakes his head. “Time is the only thing we’ve ever had, and we’ve wasted enough of it. I need to know if you love me. I need to know if everything we had is gone. I need to know if you’re going to go back in there with him or if you’re going to choose me.”
He has no right to stand here today and make demands. He’s the one who threw me away time and time again. He’s sweet to me one time and he thinks that it erases decades of suffering—as if I was the one at fault for wasting all those years?
“If you want an answer today, then you won’t like it. You had twenty years to make this right. Twentyyearsto tell me everything you dumped on me in a single morning.” I throw my hands in the air. “It’s too much. It’s not fair. You can’t expect to say all the right things and then”—I snap my fingers—“I forgive you, just like that. I’m asking for space. I’m asking for a chance to get a grip on what I’m feeling.”
Trent’s hands shake as he touches my cheek. “I love you! I fucking love you.”
I close my eyes and try to find my lungs. It hurts to breathe. “I’ve waited so long to hear that.” I release a heavy sigh. “But that doesn’t mean you can use that as a way to make me stay. I need time, and if you can’t give that to me, then you don’t love me.”
“So, you’re askin’ me to go?”
“I guess I am.”
I’m not asking him to leave. I’m asking him for time, but he doesn’t seem to hear that. I owe Cooper an explanation. I owe myself a chance to wrap my mind around everything. I have a pattern of falling back into the same situation when it comes to Trent. I don’t think I’m asking for too much.
“You made your choice, Gracie. It’s clear that even after laying it all out there, you’re going to choose him.”
“I’m choosing me!”
Trent’s phone rings and he groans. “I have to go.”
“I’ll call you in a few days.”
He steps forward and grabs my face. “Don’t choose him. Just don’t choose him.”
He crushes his lips to mine swift, hard, and desperate before turning and walking away, leaving me a dumbfounded mess.
I know he’s angry, but so am I. I didn’t mean for that to happen. I didn’t intend to ever sleep with him again, yet I did. I can try to blame the alcohol and what not. I can form a million excuses as to why it happened, and all of them will be bullshit. I did it because I love him. I did it because I need him. I did it because I’m a fool.
“Grace?” Cooper’s voice breaks the silence as I step back in the house.
I turn to face him, unsure of exactly what I’m feeling. “I don’t know what to say, Coop. I feel awful, and I really don’t know why you’re still here. You should be yellin’ at me or tellin’ me how much you hate me. You should make this hard on me.”
He shifts his weight and runs his hand down his face. “I don’t want to make this hard for you. I can see you’re already broken up about it.” Cooper starts to pace. “I’m not happy that he was here. I know you and Trent have history. But I like you, Grace.” He stops in front of me and takes my hands. “I like you, and I have for a while. I’d like us to go on a date, a real date, so I can show you there’s more than Trent. There’s more than what he’s given you all these years.”
My mouth falls slightly agape. “Even after this?”
It’s hard to believe he isn’t angry. Instead, Cooper is fighting for another chance. Why does this have to be so damn hard? It would be different if Cooper was like Trent, but he isn’t. He is everything I want in a man.
Cooper wiggles my hands and grins. “I’ve waited a really long time. I’m asking for you to give me one night to show you that what you had with him, isn’t what you need.”
Cooper is the kind of man you throw it all away for.
“I don’t know.” I look around at everything but Cooper. “This is crazy. You’re perfect and I’m broken.”
He pulls me on the couch and leans back. “You’re not broken. You’re confused, and I get that. I’m not trying to make things worse for you.”
“Then why are you asking me out? Clearly, I’m not as strong as I thought I was.”
If he knows I’m confused, then why try? It doesn’t make sense to me. He’s good-looking, owns his own business, and has everything a girl could want, but he keeps pushing for something with me. It seems nuts.
Cooper smiles and grazes his thumb across the top of my hand. “Have you ever wanted something and couldn’t have it? And then it’s so close, just within your grasp but not quite there. Either you can surrender or keep reaching. I’m not a man who gives up.”
“And when you grasp this, and it’s cracked or not as shiny as you thought it would be, then what?”
My house phone rings, and I hear the machine answer. “Grace, it’s your mother. Listen, I need you to come over here and help your daddy out today. His hip is givin’ him trouble and he’s a stubborn mule who thinks he can work through the pain.” My mom lets out an annoyed huff. “If you can get here quickly that would be great. I tried you on your cell phone, but you didn’t answer. Call me back.”
I look to Cooper and quickly explain. “I’m sorry, but I really do need to help them. My father doesn’t understand he shouldn’t be workin’ on the farm like this.”
