Page 23 of Say I'm Yours
He nods and runs his hand down his face. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come over and done this to you today. But I hope Cooper makes you happy. If he’s what you want, I won’t stand in your way.”
Every muscle in my body tenses. I want to scream that it’s him I want. I like Cooper, but Trent is my soul. He’s the man I dream of every night. He’s the man I want to fall asleep next to and grow old with. But he can’t do that.
I have to do what’s best for me, which is to watch him walk away.
“Trent,” I say as he passes through the threshold. I step closer because for better or worse, Trent is worthy of love. “Promise me that you’ll find whatever it is you’re searching for.”
He wipes the tear from under my eye. “I already had it, but I wasn’t smart enough to hold on to it.”
I shake my head. “If I was what you wanted, it would’ve been so much easier for us. It wouldn’t have been years of anguish.”
He cups my face, touches his lips to mine, and sighs. “You’re wrong, sweetheart. It was never about you not being what I wanted. It was me not knowing that what I had was everything I needed.”
Another tear falls as his hands drop. “Trent.”
“No.” He shakes his head. “I see it now, Gracie. I see what I’ve done. I put the doubt in your eyes and the pain in your voice. I was selfish to come over here. It was because I couldn’t handle the idea of you with him, or any man for that matter. But it isn’t my choice anymore. My brother told me once I was gonna fuck up and lose you.” Trent huffs and looks away. “I did that, and I need to do the right thing now.”
My voice is locked as he speaks. Inside me, a war is raging, and I’m dying. There are two parts of me that can’t find the common ground. Half of me wants to beg him to stay and love me. If he would try, I could help him. However, I’ve been there and done that already. I fought for years and ended up failing. There’s no way to help a man who doesn’t want to be saved. In the end, it was me who needed the lifeline. Seeing Trent’s regret and hearing the pain in his words is almost too much.
He touches my cheek and rubs his thumb across my lips. “Be happy, Gracie.”
I stand like a statue as he turns and walks away. Tears continue to fall and blur my vision as I watch Trent Hennington back out of my driveway and drive down the road. Minutes pass before I move.
He’s really gone.
That really happened.
How the hell am I supposed to go on a date now?
* * *
After I spenta good twenty minutes crying out all my emotions and eating half a bag of licorice, I decided to pick myself up and get myself together. The past is in the past, which includes him. There isn’t anything saying Cooper will be my future, but there isn’t anything saying he won’t, either.
Unfortunately, my composure is harder to keep than I thought, and I keep having to take deep breaths and little breaks to get myself under control.
It’s crazy how nervous I am. It isn’t like a blind date where I don’t already know the man. Hell, I’ve even seen his penis. Granted, it was when I was sixteen and solely due to a dare, but still.
My cheeks heat in the mirror as I remember in detail what it looked like. Dammit, now I’m going to end up embarrassing myself.
My mind continues down this very stupid road, and I wonder what he kisses like. What if he’s heavy on the tongue or our teeth clash? What if we are so incompatible that we sit in awkward silence? What if we like each other, and I somehow screw this up? These are all the reasons I thought this was a bad idea.
If I keep going at this rate, I’ll never be able to make it through tonight. I decide to lock my errant thoughts away and focus on getting ready.
Once I’m content with how I look, I head out to the living room. He should be here in a few minutes. I grab my phone and see a message from Presley.
Presley: Have fun tonight! I love you both and can’t wait to hear how it went.
Me: Love you! I’m sure we’ll talk tomorrow.
Knock, knock, knock.
Shit. Here we go.
Please, God, don’t let this be Trent.
I open the door to find Cooper standing there with a bouquet of flowers. His dark hair is spiked in the front going in no real style, his deep green eyes shimmer with warmth, and the way he fills out that tight gray T-shirt leaves very little to the imagination. Jesus. He gets better and better each time I see him.
“Hey.” I smile.
