Page 16 of Say I'm Yours
I grunt and move around the room. “How can she date Cooper of all people? My fucking friend? They both had to know this would be way over the line.”
“It’s good to see you care so much.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“It means you had your chance, and you blew it. It means that you don’t get a say in who she moves on with. If you wanted a say, you should’ve listened to her. I’m surprised that you’re so surprised.”
He’s right. I know that, but it doesn’t help me at all. I know she thinks it was all a game to me, but it never was. I loved her the minute I kissed her. Grace saw my demons and never looked away. She wanted me to let her in. She begged me to try, but I couldn’t. I still can’t. There’s something deep inside me that doesn’t allow me to go forward. I tried to move past it. I even thought about marrying her and raisin’ a family, but each time I got close...I couldn’t.
I talked to Wyatt about it once, and he understood. Back then, he never saw himself ever getting married. He was happy sleeping around and being free. Zach was the complete opposite. He met Presley when they were kids and swore he’d marry her. Hell, I don’t think he ever loved another woman. Not even when he dated the skank, Felicia. It was always Presley.
I am stuck somewhere between the two of them. I don’t want to get married, but I also don’t want anyone other than Grace.
“What are you thinkin’?” Zach asks.
“About a hundred different things and none of them make sense.”
My brother stands and runs his hand down his face. “I hate it for you, man. I really do. I think in all your layers of bullshit you love her.”
“I know what I feel.”
“Do you?” he says, pushing back. “Have you ever told her?”
“Mind your own business, Zach. I wasn’t sitting at your house running my mouth when you were making stupid decisions.”
“So, you admit it’s stupid?” Zach grins.
I could kill him. “Don’t you have something important to be doin’?”
Zach walks around, places his bottle down, and smirks. “I’m helping my brother out. What could be more important than that?”
“Could you let me know when you’re actually going to start helping?”
Zach has always been my best friend. Wyatt is great, but he was a clown when we were kids, plus there’s more of an age gap with us, but Zach and I are alike in a lot of ways. All of us are similar in how we view family. Mama and Pa didn’t love one of us more than the other. They were always fair—for the most part. They also gave us what we needed and taught us to work hard for what we wanted. I wish I had listened when Mama told me to stop letting my fears rule my life.
“What are you going to do?” Zach asks.
“What choice do I have?”
He shakes his head. “This has always been your issue, Trent. You feel like the world owes you something, but let me tell you, it doesn’t. You want Grace? You love her? You lay your bullshit aside and go get her. Man the fuck up. Stop actin’ like you’re the only man that’s ever lost a woman. Hell, you’re the only one left who hasn’t learned that lesson. You seem to be the only idiot left standing.”
“And that doesn’t make me a dick for preventing her happiness? Because I swear you said something like that a few minutes ago.” I throw his words back at him.
There’s no winning in this. If I fight my way back into Grace’s world, who’s to say I won’t hurt her again? Because that’s what I do to her. It isn’t fair, but God, I can’t stop myself. I know I love her, but I won’t allow myself to give in to it.
Zach rubs the back of his neck as he leans against the wall. “Maybe. I don’t know. I thought you should know they’re going out so you’re not blindsided.”
“Thanks.”
“I’ve gotta get back to Presley and the boys, but let me know if you want Wyatt and me to come over for cards this weekend.”
I nod. “I appreciate it. I’m on duty.”
Zach’s eyes narrow in suspicion, but he recovers quickly. “Be safe and don’t do anything reckless.”
I grin. “I don’t have the slightest idea what you could mean.”
“Right.”
