Page 91 of Say You Want Me
“Not you.” I slam the door in his face.
My back rests against the door, and I hold on to the hurt and anger. Those are emotions I can work with. My heart races as I picture him on the other side of the door.
“Angie.” He knocks again. “Please, baby, open up.”
I spin around and glare at the door. “I’m not your ‘baby’.”
“Can we talk?” he asks. “Please?”
“Nope. Go home, Wyatt. I have nothing to say to you.” That’s not exactly true. Actually, that’s completely untrue. I rip open the door and put my hands on my hips. “You know what? I do have something to say. Screw you. Screw you so hard your dick falls off. I can’t believe you have the balls to show up here like this. You promised me you’d be there for me. That you were going to fight to show me how much I should love you. Good job, jackass. You did that, and then you tossed me out like last night’s trash after we’d just lost ourbaby! Our daughter died, and you couldn’t man up. We’re done. I’m done crying over you, waiting for you to show up at my door, and I’m fixing this gaping hole you left in my heart myself. I. Am.Done!”
“Good,” he says and steps forward. “We’re both done with the same thing.”
“Yeah? What’s that?”
“Waiting to show up at your door.”
I move back as he comes closer. Then I hear the door shut behind him. “Just go, Wyatt. You don’t belong here.”
“No.” His eyes hold mine. “I’m not leaving. Because I love you. I love you so much it fucking hurts. I love you with every part of my soul. I never understood why people spewed crap like that, until I met you. You’re inside me, and I tried to let you go. I pushed you away because I thought this was what you wanted. I thought I was giving you the life you really missed.” He takes a deep breath through his nose, “Then, I stopped caring about that.”
My mind struggles to keep up. He loves me. I knew this deep inside, even though he tried to tell me different, I knew. Wyatt did more than just push me away. He was blunt force trauma to my heart. Now he says he loves me, but where was all that love three weeks ago? How could he love me and watch me fall apart? Whether he thought he was doing the right thing or not, he still did nothing. Now he’s here, saying all these things. Damn infuriating cowboy.
“You stopped caring?” I take another step back as he approaches.
“I wasn’t myself, baby. I stopped caring because I broke you and me in the process of doin’ what I thought was right. If it hurts being away from you this much, it ain’t right. I can’t sleep in that house without lookin’ for you. I can’t go to the stables without seein’ your face. I can’t go to the bakery because I wait for you to come out from behind the counter. I can’t breathe without you, Angie.”
He’s right about one thing. He broke me. The girl who loves this boy hates seeing him in pain. We’ve been through so much. But the woman who had this man tear her to pieces, doesn’t give a shit.
I’m not sure which side I’m teetering on, but I know I can’t take him back, not when I feel like I can’t trust him.
Because essentially, that’s what he broke . . . my trust in him and in us.
I step off to the side and grip my neck. I don’t know how, once again, I’m going to do this. “You should go home.”
“You are my home.”
“No.” I put my hand up to stop him as he takes yet another step toward me. “You bulldozed our house that night. You set fire to our home.”
“I can rebuild it. I’ll build you a whole new house.”
“Please, stop.”
This is the Wyatt I remember. The one who says exactly the right things. It’s never orchestrated—it’s what’s in his heart.
My anger starts to abate, and I try to hold on. I can’t let him waltz in here and sweet talk me. I have to be strong. I can’t go through another three weeks of what I just did. The crying, the stomach pains, and listlessness. That was hard enough. It’s still hard.
“I know I hurt you.” He follows me when I retreat some more. “I know I wasn’t the man you needed.”
“Stop.”
“No. I was stupid. I was trying to save you, Angie. I was tryin’ to love you enough to let you be happy.”
I huff. “How did that work out? I’ve been miserable. You wouldn’tlistento me. You were doing what you thought was right and didn’thearwhat I was saying.”
He stands in front of me and touches my chin. “I love you.”
“I don’t know if that matters right now.”
