Page 74 of Say You Want Me
He moves to the side and presses a button. “Relax, okay? Are you in pain?”
I glance at my stomach, which is flat. “Where is she?”
My eyes close as the panic and pain become too much. I try to curl into myself, ball up and block out whatever truth he’s going to give me. Before I can muscle through the pain in my body, his hand is on my shoulder. “Please, don’t hurt yourself.”
I force myself to look at him again. “Is she okay?”
His brown eyes fill with tears, and his lips tremble for a second before they mash together. “I . . .” A tear falls. “They tried.”
Oh, God. My breathing accelerates as the monitor beeps louder, faster. I can’t breathe. He has to be lying. She can’t be gone.
“No!” My heart ceases to exist, that beeping is a lie. “No!” I cry again as Wyatt takes my hand. The pounding in my head intensifies. “She can’t . . .” I hiccup.
“They tried so hard, Ang. They did everything they could,” he explains.
“She was so strong.” Tears fall. They come down like rain as the realization that I lost my baby settles deep inside me. I’m alive, he’s alive, and she’s not.
“Baby.” He takes my face in his hands. “I’m sorry, Angie. I’m so sorry. I begged them to save her. I begged God to take me and let you keep her. I would’ve done anything.”
My chest heaves as sobs rake through me. I don’t care about the pain. I want to revel in it because it’s real. My little girl is gone from my body. I was supposed to keep her safe. I kept her alive. Now she’s gone. “No! Please,” I beg.
Wyatt wraps his arm around me, holding me as I fall apart. “Shhh.” He tries to calm me.
“Angie.” I hear Presley’s voice. Wyatt loosens his hold as my best friend walks over to my other side. “I don’t know what to say other than I love you so much.”
“She never had a chance.” My voice is full of anguish. “It’s too much, Pres.”
“I know.” She wipes the tear from my cheek. “It’s not fair.”
I look over at Wyatt, the strong man who looks like he’s falling apart. His hair is disheveled; his usual scruff is almost a full beard. There are cuts on his face that look like they’re healing. “How long?” I choke on the words.
Wyatt’s lip quivers and a tear falls down his face. He glances over at Presley.
She squeezes my hand. “It’s been four days.” She sniffs. “Four days, and you underwent surgery. You ruptured your spleen, which is why they had to remove the baby. You fought so hard for her, honey.” Presley’s tears fall rapidly. “She just couldn’t hold on.”
My tears don’t stop falling. I lost my brother two years ago, and I thought there was nothing that could rival that pain, until now. That was a gentle kiss across the skin compared to this knife slicing through my chest. There’s nothing to fully express how completely empty I feel.
I look out the window, wanting to slip back into the darkness. When I was there, I still had her. I had everything.
Now, I have nothing.
“Angie?” Wyatt says, but I can’t look at him.
The nurse walks in. “Hi, honey.” She’s careful not to sound too happy. Her eyes take in the scene of people around me crying. “I’m going to check you over and then give you something for the pain, okay?”
“Whatever,” I reply.
I don’t have any strength for any emotions right now. I’m broken. Once again, someone I love has been stolen from me. I’ve been robbed of the family I thought I would have.
She looks at my vitals, types something into a small computer, and then injects something into my IV. “That should help with the headache.” Her hand gently squeezes my arm. “Your family has been at your bedside the entire time. You should get your rest, honey. The doctor will be in soon since you’re awake now.”
Presley’s red-rimmed eyes lock on mine. “I know you’re hurting. You both are.” She looks at Wyatt. “I just . . .” She stumbles for words. “Know that if you need me, for anything, I’m here.”
I close my eyes. “She’s gone.”
“She is. She’s gone and it’s not fair. It’s awful and cruel, but you’re here, Wyatt’s here, and you both need to lean on each other. You need to grieve and know that you have people around you who will do whatever you need.”
A pained sound escapes my mouth. “Give me back my daughter. Bring her back! That’s what I need. I need you to give me back my child!”
