Page 28 of Say You Want Me
Wyatt’s thumb brushes the tear away. “You’ve been through a lot of shit, but you haven’t actually dealt with it, have you?”
I shake my head. “No, you don’t get it, Wyatt. I’m happy. I’m genuinely happy alone. I like my life, my job, my apartment, and now everything is changing. I’ve kept things exactly the same because they work that way!” Another tear falls. “I don’t want to like you. But you’re making it impossible. You’re going to realize I’m a giant pain in the ass. I’m stubborn, and I won’t give up my life for a man. I can’t do it. Because when you do realize I’m not worth the effort—You’ll go.”
“I’m not leavin’ you. I’m not leavin’ my kid. You’re going to have to get used to that.”
“You don’t know that. You can’t possibly know that.”
He pulls me against his chest and holds me there. My fingers grip his shirt, and I hold on. I want to believe that he means it. But I’ve never had a guy stick it out with me. I’m moody, more so with a kid wreaking havoc on my hormones. There are girls like Presley who have epic loves, then there is me. I’m not the type of girl guys love. I’m the type they fuck and move on from. I’ve been fine with that. Happy even.
Wyatt lets out a deep sigh. “I’ll prove it.”
I sure hope so, because I could use a Prince Charming rather than the frogs I’ve been kissing.
We make it the rest of the way home without anymore outbursts. I mull over everything he said and try to put it into categories.
The reasons why I should keep myself guarded.
There’s all the pros of why I think Wyatt is great, which is slowly making the former column damn near obsolete.
My world has pretty much been flipped around, so it’s likely I’m a little off my game. Normally by now, I’d have found a hundred reasons why he’s the last man on earth I want to be with. It doesn’t usually take long. I find things annoying pretty quickly, but that list . . . is tiny.
Sure he is too damn sweet, he doesn’t really cook much, and he seems to have issues with leaving the toilet seat up, but that’s about it. I genuinely like being around him, and I find ways throughout the day to see him.
We both seem to be lost in our own minds as we muddle around the house. I get changed, he puts some things away, and we both climb into bed.
“Wyatt?”
“Hmm?”
“If I wasn’t having the baby, would you still want me?”
His body goes still and then I feel him move quickly. The light turns on, and he stares at me. “Why would you ask me that?”
“There’s these things I wonder about,” I admit. “It’s why I keep holding myself back. One of them is how you feel about Presley, the baby, and then where I fit into all that.”
It’s an honest question, but I don’t know why I’m asking it. I just know if I don’t, it’s going to eat me alive. Wyatt and I have spent the last two weeks being open, getting to know each other, and talking about almost everything. My feelings are growing stronger with each day that passes, but the worry that my feelings are because of the baby won’t go away.
“I don’t know what I would feel. I liked you a long time ago, but we had our separate lives, Ang. I do know that wearehaving a baby, and I care about you. I don’t think there’s a real way to answer that.”
I know what he means, but if there were no baby, would we even be having this conversation? The answer is no. The baby is the reason I’m here. The baby is the reason all this is happening. Wyatt and I might have hooked up whenever I came for a visit. Maybe we would’ve spent a few hot and heavy nights together, but I would’ve gone back to Philly.
To my life.
He would’ve stayed here—where he belongs.
“Let me ask you a question,” Wyatt says. “Why did you agree to come here?”
“Because you asked.”
“No.” He sits up. “That’s bullshit.”
“No, it’s the answer.”
He releases a sarcastic laugh. “Why did you agree?”
“I told you!” Now, I’m getting frustrated.
“Was it because you wanted to see what this was? Was it because you wanted to know me better? Why, Angie? Why come here? Why would you give up three months of your life?”
