Page 55 of Fall Hard

“I don’t want to.”

“You’ll feel better if you do.”

I held my breath, unwilling to let the pain festering inside escape—because then I would have to confront it, once and for all.

Bryn shuffled closer, wrapping her arms around me so my head was pillowed on her chest as a ragged sob left my lips. I tried to clamp it back and she tutted.

“You need to let this go, Liv. Cry them out. Let the pain dull.” Her fingers stroked through my hair and my breaths followed the lull of her hands, stuttering in and out faster and faster.

It was like an unleashing, like my soul was seizing inside my body as it purged itself of the shame, the worry, thefear.

“You’re enough,” Bryn murmured as I shook. “You’re everything.”

My breathing finally slowed as my tears ran out, and my eyes fluttered open to find Bryn’s already on mine.

“Okay?” she said and I nodded, licking my lips as I felt the warmth of her body easing into mine.

“Thank you.”

She shook her head. “You don’t need to—”

“I do.”

We both went quiet, our eyes holding as the space between us seemed to shrink. We’d shared a bed before, several times now, but it had never felt like this. This was like playing with fire and hoping you got burned, or taking the plunge and not bothering with a parachute. Dangerous. Free fall.

“What are we doing here, Bryn?”

She blinked and it felt like electricity was coursing through my veins, my heart beating quicker now that I’d dared to voice one of the questions I so desperately needed answered:Did she want me as much as I wanted her?

“We’re two friends. In bed.”

The word ‘bed’ seemed to hang between us like a promise and despite her words, it felt like she moved closer.

“Friends.”

“Yeah,” Bryn said breathlessly, her chin tilting upwards ever so slightly.

“In bed.”

“Right,” she murmured, eyes dipping down to watch my mouth and the next time I spoke, her lips brushed across mine.

“Just. Friends.”

She kissed me and my breath was lost as my lungs filled with the scent of her. This. This was what I’d been waiting for, what I’d needed—to be lost in the sensation of the touch of her mouth, the sound of her gasp as our tongues met.

“Bryn…” I didn’t need to say anything else. Her hand slid into my hair, tugging like she’d never get me close enough, and her lips tasted mine like they were never meant to be apart. She was warm, so so warm, and when I trailed my lips down the side of her throat it was her turn to pant for me.

My hand skimmed her side, cupping her hip as her mouth moved lower. My chest rose sharply to meet her lips as I gasped and when her tongue licked a path across the tops of my breasts I whimpered, desperate for her.

“Maybe…” I gasped as her warm hand touched the bare skin of my waist under my shirt. “Maybe we should slow down a little.”

Bryn’s hand fell away as she rolled onto her back and I bit my lip, worried I’d made a mistake or that she thought I was pushing her away.

“I didn’t mean—”

“No, it’s okay. I understand.” She wouldn’t look at me, her gaze focused studiously on the ceiling before she abruptly stood and moved away from the bed. “I’m going to shower or something,” she muttered and I opened my mouth but no words came out before the door to the bathroom closed behind her with a gentleclick.

The sound of the water filled the room and I watched the door intently, thinking she would be out soon and we could talk this out. When I’d said we should slow down, I hadn’t meant that I regretted kissing her, or anything that followed. But I didn’t want to do whatever it was we were doing until I knew what it meant.

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