Page 25 of Fall Hard

“Kind of. What about you? Seeing anyone new?”

I was saved from answering by the arrival of Max and, oddly enough, Kat and I raised an eyebrow at her as she walked past. Had they come together? Or just met up on the way in?

“Is it live?” Jamie’s cheeks were flushed, probably from a mix of alcohol and excitement, her dark eyes glittered and her mouth was slightly swollen from Ryan’s kisses and I could feel the alcohol sour in my stomach.

“It is.” Max kept his face blank before letting a smile break out. “It’s trending.”

“Holy shit, you’re kidding me.”

“I’m so proud of you,” I heard Ryan murmur and it felt like a fist tightening around my heart as I worked to keep my smile in place.

Max was practically glowing with pride, his tanned skin making him look more like a surfer than a record producer, except for the odd smudge of pink at the edge of his white collar…

I narrowed my eyes on Kat’s perfect, pink coated mouth. When she decided to fess up, it was going to be good I could tell.

I slunk outside as the music was turned up a little louder, Max insisting on playing Jamie’s new song—I just needed a second to breathe.

The music was muffled outside the boys’ house and I sat down on the steps leading up to their porch to take in the night air. It was surprisingly cool out, like maybe we’d have rain, and I shivered as I looked up at the sky. There were a few stars, but mostly there was too much city pollution for us to see them that well and for a second it made me miss the quietness of my home town. The door opened and someone sat down beside me. I looked up in surprise, expecting Bryn but instead finding her brother.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

I laughed quietly as the silence overtook us again. “Needed some space?”

“Yeah, I guess. Plus I wanted to talk to you.”

There was that seriousness again, it felt out of place on Kit’s face. “What’s wrong?”

He paused before his eyes, so much like his sister’s, met mine. “I don’t know what you and Bryn are up to together, and I don’t need to know, but she’s softer than she pretends, Liv. Don’t hurt her.”

“It’s not like that. We’re just friends.”

Kit nodded and then ran his pale hands through his shock of blue hair, mussing it up. “Just be careful, okay? I like you, Liv. But she’s my sister, she comes first.”

I smiled slightly. For the first time, I kind of wished I’d had a brother or sister. “I get it.”

The door opened behind us and I glanced over as light from the hall escaped and Bryn stepped out, seeming surprised to see her brother there.

“Everything alright?”

Kit stood up and kissed Bryn on the cheek as he passed her to walk back inside. I understood his protectiveness, the two siblings certainly seemed close. It was something I found myself jealous of, despite the relief that came with knowing that I was the only person who’d been subjected to my parents’ terrible excuse for parenting. I glanced at Bryn beside me and found her already watching me.

I’d thought she’d give me crap for leaving, but instead she said, “You did good.”

“Really? It feels like the opposite.”

Bryn shrugged. “Sometimes it’s hard to do the thing that’s right for you.”

“Does that mean that I can go home, then?”

Her eyes ran over my face before she said, “If that’s what you really want, then sure.”

I thought it over and shook my head. I wanted to be inside, having a good time with my friends and getting a little drunk. What I really wanted was to not feel this way any more. “You know, sometimes I wish I could be a little more like her. Jamie, I mean. Care a little less, do my own thing without giving a crap about the expectations or consequences.”

“That’s not who you are,” Bryn said quietly. “You care, deeply, and that’s not a bad thing. Except when you fall, you fall hard.”

“I’m my own worst enemy.”

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