Page 12 of Get Even

He had to be joking, right? Ryan brushed my fringe out of my eyes and raised an eyebrow like he was waiting. I hesitantly began talking, recounting my intro and background of the book and the war, glancing up at him every so often to see if he was actually paying attention or just humoring me. His dark brows were furrowed as he listened to me speak and we strolled aimlessly around the park, neither of us ready to head home yet.

“And this book was banned?” he said and I nodded.

“It’s starting to happen again in the US where books that disagree with the status quo get banned.”

“I had no idea,” he said and it was clearly something that bothered him as he bit his lip and glanced at me. “I hope you don’t think I’m stupid.”

I laughed, “I mean youarea jock.”

“I study psychology,” he pointed out and I blinked, because I honestly hadn’t known. I was starting to realize that I was kind of self-absorbed. But hey, at least I knew it, right?

“Well, I don’t actually think you’re stupid,” I said and Ryan smiled crookedly as he sat down on a bench under a big tree, the sunlight filtering through so it wasn’t in our eyes.

“Tell me more,” he prompted and my mouth went dry. I could count on one hand the amount of times someone had ever asked me to tell themmoreabout history. Once, when someone wanted to cheat off of me for an exam. Second… Ry.

My phone vibrated and I glanced down at it, glad to give myself a moment to sort out what I was feeling, and any peacefulness that had started to flow immediately withered and died inside me.

UNKNOWN:Benji, baby, how are things? You know I love you, I’m sorry I haven’t been around much but tell me when you’re free and we can meet up. I’ve missed my girl.

A sick feeling started in my stomach and clawed its way up my throat. There was only one person I knew who called me Benji and I had nothing to say to her. How she’d even found my number I wasn’t sure. I opted to ignore it, not wanting to encourage her, if she messaged again then I’d reply – mostly to stop her from turning up here out of the blue. That would be the last thing I needed with this mess going on.

“Everything okay?” Ryan asked, eyes assessing the rapid change in my mood and I nodded.

Suddenly I wanted nothing more than to be alone with my thoughts for a while. I hated that she had this effect on me, the familiar mix of anger, sadness and guilt. She was mymother,what kind of person felt that way when their mom texted?

“Yeah, I just need to get going, I told Liv I’d hang out with her today,” I lied and Ryan nodded easily.

“Sure, do you want me to walk you back?” he asked, standing with me and reaching for my hand.

I pulled away with a strained smile, “No thanks, I’m good.” I gave him a nod and he bit his lip but gave a half-hearted wave as I walked away. It was for the best, I couldn’t let us become too comfortable, couldn’t let myself be vulnerable like that right now. It had been a mistake with Aaron and Taylor and it would be a mistake with Ryan. He wanted to piss off Aaron and maybe play white knight. Fine. It didn’t need to be more than that. We could have a little fun and keep things at a distance, I was tired of people wiggling their way into my heart and crushing it from the inside.

I rifled through my bag until I found the black protective tub, popped open the lid and pulled out a zoot. I just needed my thoughts to be quiet for a while. I lit it with one hand while I walked, inhaling to keep the fire burning before the light breeze could snuff it out. I was trying to be more respectful of Liv and smoke outside of the apartment. She said she didn’t mind but I could tell she didn’t like the smell.

I finished the joint just before I reached the downstairs door to the apartment and stubbed it out on the brick wall next to it. My brain had a pleasant haze and my eyes felt heavy. I hoped Liv was out because I wasn’t really in the mood for conversation. I just wanted to put on my baggiest tee, crash out on the sofa and binge watchVampire Diarieswhile I devoured a bag of chips.

I was mid-way through doing exactly that when Liv walked in, calling out a quickhellothat I reciprocated blearily. I’d somehow made it through four episodes and Liv walked in, flinching at the fleshy sound as Damon ripped out some poor dude’s heart.

“Hey,” she said again as she settled next to me and I patted the top of her head. “I know I said I’d cook tonight but I kind of fancy take-out.”

I waved my hand airily as my stomach grumbled, the chips hadn’t been enough to satiate the munchies. “Pizza?” I asked and she grinned.

“Sounds perfect.”

Normally, Liv cooked and I cleaned. That was the deal. Mostly because I both hated to cook and seriously sucked at it. Like, I could manage toast but even that usually wound up burnt. Liv placed the order while I called out toppings and then we sat and waited.

“So…” she said and I snuggled deeper into the corner of the sofa, keeping my eyes fixed on the screen. “You seem kinda… sad.”

“Maybe this is just my personality,” I mumbled and Liv pinched my arm. “Ow, okay, what?”

“What’s on your mind?” she insisted and I groaned.

“My mom texted me today and I think Ryan is hot.” I could tell that Liv was baffled on multiple levels so I sighed, knowing I needed to talk more to elaborate. She’d only had the bare minimum details from me on Friday evening and I hadn’t seen her to fill her in on Saturday’s coffee date yet. “Ryan is Aaron’s co-captain and currently my fake boyfriend to get Professor Dick to ease off me because of the probation and he has the added bonus of pissing off Aaron. My mom is an addict and I hate it when she texts because she’s normally looking to relieve her guilt or get some cash.”

Liv hummed, nodding her head slowly. “Your life is like a movie.”

“Can’t wait for the credits,” I mumbled and she sighed, moving closer and spooning me from the side.

“It’ll all work out,” she reassured me and in Liv’s calm and collected voice I almost believed it too. “But for now, I want more details on this Ryan guy.”

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