Page 26 of Gamechanger

Moose leaned his head on my shoulder. "Yeah, that is. It's okay." He traced the rim of his mug with his index finger. "It was rough on me when they split, but I tried not to let anybody see that. For a while, I thought at least part of it might be my fault, and I couldn't handle that other people would know. I worried I wasn't a good enough son to keep them together."

I touched his arm. "Moose, you know that's not true, right?"

"Yeah, on my good days."

Silence took over as we ate cookies and sipped eggnog. The city's lights twinkled in the night beyond Moose's large, multi-paned windows. With him leaning against me, I was more relaxed than I'd been in weeks.

Moose broke the quiet. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Do you ever feel like… like you don't quite live up to what everybody thinks you should be? I mean, you're phenomenal, so I probably shouldn't ask you, but—"

I interrupted. "All the time. I'm always trying to prove to myself and everybody else that I belong here. I constantly worry about whether I'm big enough or tough enough."

Moose reached out for my hand. "You belong on the ice. There are no doubts about that."

More moments of silence followed. I watched as Moose's gaze drifted to his bookshelves. He frowned slightly.

"You okay?" I nudged his shoulder gently.

"Yeah… yeah, I'm fine." Something about how he said it made me think it wasn't entirely true.

"You've got quite a varied collection of books… biology, marketing, sci-fi."

He chuckled. "Yeah, I guess you can see it that way. Sometimes, it makes me think I'm just collecting interests without becoming an expert in any of them."

"What do you mean?"

Moose sighed and ran his hand over his buzzed head. "I mean, look at those books. They're all liking different versions of me I've toyed with. There's the biology nerd, environmental consultant, and now, a sports marketer. Maybe I'm just faking my way through all of it."

He sounded vulnerable, almost fragile. It was a side of Moose I hadn't seen before.

I confronted the negative thoughts. "Having diverse interests doesn't make you fake. It makes you fascinating."

He offered a weak smile. "Maybe, but sometimes I feel like I'm just playing a part in a play or something. Everybody sees this big, confident guy on the outside, but on the inside…" His voice trailed off, and he shook his head. "Sorry. I guess I'm just being stupid."

"It's not stupid. I think everybody has their moments that they worry, but you're doing a great job—with the marketing, getting to know the team, and with me."

His voice dropped down to barely above a whisper. "Thanks. I just don't want to let anybody down. Especially not you."

I searched his face, seeing the creases of worry on his forehead. The guy I knew as almost larger-than-life was letting himself be vulnerable around me.

I reached up and touched his cheek. "You could never let me down. You're amazing the way you are."

"Finn, I…"

Words were hard to find. Instead, a magnetic force drew us closer. Moose's gaze dropped to my lips, and then he looked into my eyes. My heart pounded inside my ribcage, and I nodded just enough for him to notice.

He hesitated momentarily, giving me a last chance to pull away. I was done raising questions about our connection and leaned in to close the distance.

Our kiss was soft at first—almost tentative. Then, Moose reached around my waist, and the kiss deepened. I tasted the lingering sweetness from the eggnog on his lips and parted mine to let his tongue inside. His beard scratched against my chin, sending shivers through my body. The first kiss was everything I'd hoped for and more.

I gasped softly as Moose pulled me closer, pressing our bodies tightly together. The solid warmth of his chest against mine anchored me. I reached up to his shoulders, feeling the strong muscles beneath his sweater.

We finally broke apart, our breathing fast and shallow. Moose's eyes were open wide, the pupils dilated. "Was that okay?" he asked, his voice husky and uncertain.

My heart swelled at his question, at the care and consideration behind it. I didn't respond in words. Instead, I pulled him back to me, pouring weeks of longing into another passionate kiss. My fingers trailed up to the nape of his neck, playing with the short hairs there, and I felt him shudder against me. To combat his earlier vulnerability, I wanted to make him feel, with his entire body, how much he meant to me.

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