Page 44 of The Reality of Wanting Him
I don’t know if I’m strong enough to deal with that kind of heartbreak.
I’m a little surprised by how honest my answer is. This whole process is so wild when I think about just how much Blake and I have already shared with the public when it comes to our relationship. My first instinct is to try to hold back, to keep what little privacy we have left and not share any more details than I have to.
But I also know we had an unconventional start with the gender confusion. And then there was the drama with Rachel—even if it was minimal, I know they’ll still eat it up. As much as Ihate to think about it, we’ll probably get a lot of screen time with all our drama aired. Although, I’m not entirely sure what’s going on with the other couples, so maybe that’s a little egotistical of me to think.Jace and Kieran certainly have their own drama.I want to show that there’s more to us than those potentially viral moments. I want people to understand that we’re a surprisingly good fit, a couple who has a real shot at making it.
Andy lets out a chuckle, pulling my attention back to him. “I think we’re all excited to see how Blake fares on the farm. You two certainly had an interesting beginning. Can you tell us a bit more about your dynamic—what it is that’s worked so well for you both when Blake is new to dating a man.”
“Believe me, no one is more surprised than I am after that first in-person meeting that Blake and I have ended up where we are in such little time,” I say with a laugh. “But our relationship is better than I could have even hoped for. He pushes me to let go, to loosen up, and enjoy every moment. I’d like to think that I’ve helped him find out who he is outside of the lifestyle he’s accustomed to here in the city. Blake makes me feel something I haven’t ever felt before, and even though this whole thing started under weird circumstances, it somehow feels more real than any other relationship I’ve been in.”
Andy’s smile softens slightly, looking less fake than I’ve ever seen it.
“I think I speak for everyone who’s going to see your romance unfold when I say that I wish you both the best, and I can’t wait to see what happens next for the two of you!”
We wrap up the interview without any other painful questions, and I think, overall, it went pretty well.Now I get to be nervous for a whole other set of reasons—time to meet Blake’s best friend.
Blake didn’t actually tell me what we’re doing tonight, and I didn’t think to ask, so I can only imagine what he’s planned. I’m finally arriving in a car that the show coordinated to meet him,and I can’t wait to be able to touch him again.I didn’t realize just how much I’d missed him until I was done worrying about the interview.I step out, taking in the arena and all the people around, wearing matching jerseys.
I should have guessed we’d be doing a sports related activity.
Whatever, I’m sure it’ll be fine for one night, plus I want Blake to be happy.
There’s a producer with me who directs me to a security line, and once we’re through, they scan our tickets. When I finally step into the lobby of what I’m guessing is a fancy VIP entrance by the lack of crowds, I see Blake waiting for me with that charming smile already in place as he rushes to me. I smile right back, and I can’t help but reach out, gripping the back of his neck to bring his lips to mine. I kiss him hard on the mouth, needing to feel close to him after the stressful day we spent apart, not caring for a second that we have an audience or a camera pointed right at us.
Blake lets out a surprised noise but immediately melts into my hold. He places both of his hands on my hips, holding tight as he enthusiastically kisses me back, like maybe he’s missed me just as much. When I finally pull back, I catch the flush that spreads across his cheeks, and it sparks a possessive desire within me that I have no right feeling while in public.
“Sorry. I missed you and I couldn’t help myself,” I say quietly, just for him.
I’m hoping I didn’t embarrass him in front of his friend. But when I turn to face the man next to him, who I’m assuming is Chad, he’s watching us with what’s got to be the biggest grin I’ve ever seen in my life. I swear it rivals Andy’s.
Blake groans and shoves Chad’s shoulder. “Don’t be weird.”
Chad just laughs, the wicked glint in his eye giving away just how much he’s enjoying this. “Who’s being weird? I’m literally being so normal about you casually kissing your boyfriend right in front of me. No big deal.” Then he turns to me and sticks outhis hand. “Liam, right? At least, I hope you’re Liam and not some random dude kissing Blake right on the mouth.”
“Yeah, I’m Liam,” I laugh as I shake his hand. “It’s good to meet you, Chad.”
“I’ve gotta say,” Chad says, glancing between the two of us with that shit-eating grin still in place. “This wassonot the outcome I expected when Blake signed up for this show. But I like it. I think you’re going to be really good for him. It’s pretty obvious with how he hasn’t been able to go more than thirty seconds today without bringing you up, and how he hasn’t stopped smiling when he does.”
Blake rolls his eyes. “You like it because you love being right.”
“Obviously.” Chad grins. “And because you’re, like, weirdly into him. I’ve never seen you like this before, man. It’s kinda cute. Makes me think I should try dating a guy.”
Blake just glares at his best friend, and I bite back a laugh.I like Chad already.
“So,” I say. “What’s the plan?”
Blake perks up immediately. “We have a box for tonight’s Dragons’ hockey game.”
Even though I had guessed as much walking in here, I still want to give him a hard time. “You do remember that I don’t like sports, right?”
Blake grins guiltily, he likely knew that was coming. “Yeah. Butwe do.” He gestures between him and Chad. “And more importantly, I had to give the producers ideas of what to do before I was even on the show, remember? I thought whoever I brought would just be happy to spend time with me in a box. It’s a whole experience.”
He waggles his eyebrows like this is supposed to be cute.And damn him, it is cute.Infuriatingly so, because I know I’m going to find myself in a stadium full of people cheering loudly for a sport I don’t care about.
But I also know that I’m going to do it because it’s what Blake wants to do, and I am happy to just spend time with him.
I sigh dramatically, rolling my eyes. “Fine.”
Blake lights up. “You really are the best.”
