Page 39 of The Reality of Wanting Him

“Hey, what the fuck?” I demand, not because I hate him pulling me like that, but because I don’t want to stop.

“I thought that you were enjoying following my directions?” he taunts, so I reluctantly nod. “Good, now do you want to keep exploring on your own, B? Or do you want me to completely take control and fuck that mouth like I’ve been wanting to since we met?”

My eyes widen at the suggestion, but his words only make the heat pooling in my gut grow, the desire spreading to make me feel even needier, even more desperate for him. “Definitely that one,” I agree.

“Good, get my cock back in your mouth and relax as much as you can,” he instructs.

I hurry to do as he says, attempting to hold as still as possible. He moves his hand to grip the back of my head again, and I focus on taking deep, relaxing breaths through my nose. Far slower than I expected, he starts to shift his hips, pushing his dick deeper but only slightly. I don’t know if I expected him to jump into anything super rough too quickly, but the proof that he’s taking this slow to gauge what I can handle makes me meltall over again. I’m able to relax even more, and he gradually picks up his pace.

“Is this really what you want, straight boy? You want to turn down that hot woman at the bar so you can come home to me? So I can fuck your face and order you around?”

I press down on my aching cock, trying to find some relief as I moan, hoping he understands it as a yes.I do. I really want to do this with him again and we’re not even done with round one yet.His grip on my hair is controlling my head, and his thrusts are picking up speed. My eyes must have drifted closed because I have to force them open to look at him. I want Liam to see how needy I am right now, how much I’m loving this.

“Are you hard?” he taunts as he fucks into my mouth. “Take out your cock so I can see just how desperate you are to have me inside of you.”

Finally.

Obviously, I could have done this sooner, but it somehow felt wrong to do without his permission.

I rush to rid myself of my pants, Liam pausing to give me space to do so before guiding his cock back into my open, waiting mouth. “Look at you—how needy you are. You’re leaking just from having my cock in your mouth. What else are you going to let me do to you?”

I should probably be more concerned by that question than I am.“Anything” seems like the wrong answer for someone as new to sex with another man as I am, but it’s still the first thought I have.

“Make yourself come while my cock is inside you,” he says, and I immediately move my hand to my dick. I’m so close already. Every word out of his mouth goes straight to my balls. “Tap twice on my leg if you want me to pull out, and once if you’re okay to swallow,” he warns, and I make sure to clearly tap on his leg one time.I want the full experience.

“Do it, come for me,” he demands, and it’s like I’ve beenwaiting for his permission yet again.Maybe I have been. My release paints the floor of our bedroom as pleasure crashes over me in waves. His praise is drowned out by the high of my orgasm. His cock twitches in my mouth, and his cum shoots down my throat. I want to handle this like a pro, but even though I love the taste of him, I definitely end up choking and coughing a bit. Liam’s look of awe as he cups my face after makes it pretty clear he doesn’t care, though.

He drops to his knees, still cupping my face as he brings his lips to mine, not minding that I taste like him. The kiss is softer than I expect after he was just so dominant. This is sweet and unhurried. Eventually he pulls away, smiling, looking at me with such adoration that my instinct is to look away. Somehow, I’m shy, even after everything else we just did.

“Blake, what the fuck am I going to do with you?” he teases, making me laugh.

“Hopefully everything.”

“So, you’re okay then? That wasn’t too much?” he checks, and I love that he cares, but I’m definitely good.

“That was so fucking hot,” I assure him, and now he’s laughing. “When can we do that again?”

20

LIAM

Producer:They’ve been in their room for awhile… think they made-up?

Second producer:We pulled audio from the rest of their apartment to make sure we had proof of life and didn’t need to intervene in a physical altercation… let’s just say, they definitely made-up.

I’ve had sex before. I’ve even hadgoodsex before. But nothing—truly nothing—has ever felt like that. That was officially the hottest sexual experience of my life, and it was only Blake’s first blowjob.

I don’t know what I expected when Blake dropped to his knees for me, but it sure as hell wasn’t that. He wanted it so badly too, his eyes pleading like he needed me to tell him exactly what to do. I might have acted mildly dominant before, but I didn’t know I had that in me. It was the first time in my life I could truly take what I wanted without holding back, and I was only comfortable doing it because of how obvious he was about how much he was enjoying the experience.

I know our exchange was about a lot more than him convincing me that he actually wants to be with me, but I can’t deny it worked. I feel like I finally channeled the hurt and frustration I was feeling—to let go of the worry and insecurities that drove me back to our apartment and away from the cameras in the first place. The stress of tonight might have led us to fall into the roles of domination and submission in a way that we wouldn’t have otherwise, but I don’t think it will be a one-time thing.

I want it again, but I don’t just want to see Blake on his knees. I want toputhim there and watch as he does it without hesitation. Maybe it’s the part of me my ex broke all those years ago that craves the validation of seeing his eyes go hazy as he hands over control—feeling a rush knowing he’s giving himself to me completely because he wants this as badly as I do.

I’ve never had this kind of power in a relationship before. I’ve always been the one who adjusts, the one who makes things easier for the other person.

But with Blake? I don’t want to be careful or hold back. I want to push him. I want to hear him beg for me. I want to take him apart piece by piece and watch him melt under my touch, my voice, my control.

And the craziest part is that he wants it too.

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