Page 3 of The Reality of Wanting Him

Chad must have also followed the link because he flashes me the website from his own phone. “What if you end up talking to a really ugly girl? Or what if it’s a dude?” he says, sounding concerned.

“Come on, they always cast hot people for these things,” I point out. “Plus, I feel like it’ll be kind of obvious if I’m talking to a man or a woman, right?”

“Yeah, I guess it might, depending on what you talk about,” he concedes. “So, are you actually going to go for it?”

“I like the idea.” I shrug. “I’m running out of time, and everyone who signs up for the show is at least open to the idea of getting married in the next few months. Plus, I’m so sick of my mom trying to set me up with her friends' daughters. They only seem to care about our appearances, so a little depth might be nice. I’m worried about leaving Lucky alone for that long, though,” I admit.

Lucky is the Samoyed puppy I got in Lady’s honor when I was cut from the NFL and had no idea what to do with myself. I hadn’t gotten another pet before then because I assumed that I’d be traveling across the country every week with my team. When that didn’t go according to plan, being able to have another pet was truly the only silver lining, and probably the only thing tokeep me from spiraling off the deep end into the New York City party and drug scene that some of the guys I knew from college fell into.

I’ve never gone longer than a night or two away from her, and when that has happened, I’ve been kind of a mess trusting her with other people. I pay someone to take her out, feed her, and keep her company if I do go out for the night, but I know that no one else will give her the proper snuggles that I do, and I miss her comforting presence at my side whenever I do have to be gone for more than a few hours.

“You know that she can move in with me while you’re gone. I still have the binder you made me with all of her care instructions. I promise to snuggle her as much as I possibly can,” he assures me, and I can’t help but smile. Chad is probably the only person I’d trust with Lucky for that long. I know he loves her almost as much as I do. The thought of being away from her for weeks makes me not want to apply, but I don’t want her to be homeless either, so it’s time to find a wife.

“Okay, if you’re sure?” I check, and he nods enthusiastically.

We spend the rest of dinner mapping out everything I should include in my application.

When I get home, I start filling it out, trying to make sure I include everything important. I write down the basics: styled blond hair, hazel eyes, a decent tan most of the year. I even throw in that I'm six foot three because if I’m putting in this much effort, they might as well know I’m tall.

Once it's all written out, I spend way too long triple-checking everything, making sure I don't leave anything out that might cost me my shot. I attach a bunch of pictures too—some where I’m in swim trunks showing off the body I work hard for, and others where I’m dressed up for charity events. I’m hoping to show them that I can clean up well but also know how to have a good time.

Seems like important reality show contestant skills, right?

The last thing I need to do before submitting the application is record a short video about why I want to be on the show. I’m pretty sure “my parents threatened to cut me off and I’m terrified of losing their money because I have no idea how to budget, pay taxes, or be a functioning adult” isn’t the best selling point.

So I go with a half-truth instead.

I sit in front of my laptop and press record. “Hey, I’m Blake, and I’m hoping that you’ll consider me to be a contestant onLove Without Labels. I’m twenty-nine years old, from New York City, aka the greatest city in the world, and I’m looking to settle down.” I flash the camera what I hope is a dazzling smile that hides how nervous I really am. “I’ve always assumed I’d be married by now, but the dating world isn’t what I thought it would be. The bars and apps haven’t panned out the way I’d hoped they would.

“But I have a really great feeling about this. I love the idea of building a connection with someone before you jump into the more physically focused dating routine. I’m a fun, easygoing, open-minded guy, and I think I’d be a great fit for the show. Can’t wait to chat with you all soon, and who knows? Maybe wedding bells are in my near future. Fingers crossed,” I tease with a wink at the camera.

I watch it back once to make sure I don’t look too stiff, but it’s fine. I look good, and I don’t think I seem awkward.What more could they want for a reality dating show?

2

LIAM

Ican’t believe I’m doing this. If my mom could see me now, she’d be beside herself. I was always the shy, reserved one in the group and never felt the need to be the center of attention, so to actively apply to go on a dating show for the whole world to see seems insane even to me.

I don’t even post on social media, which I guess needs to change as part of the show’s rules. They say the viewers love learning more about the contestant’s lives and want to know what happens after the show actually airs. The concept seems a little silly to me, but then again, I’m the one who signed up forLove Without Labels—filmed the application video, answered way too many personal questions, and even did multiple interviews with producers. I knew my entire life was going to be put on blast for keyboard warriors to criticize and judge, but I try not to think about that and focus on what I’m really here for: finding my person.

I know as soon as I get there, I’ll need to film my introduction video that they’ll use in show promos and the first episode. That has me more nervous than I was during the entire application process, probably because I never really thought I’d getpicked. Even though, deep down, I wanted it. I also didn’t want to let myself get too hopeful or invested either. As a small-town farm boy, I don’t exactly screamreality-show material.

But now that it’s actually happening, I feel completely unprepared. Despite it consuming my every waking thought, I still have no idea what to say. They told me to prepare some basic things: a one-liner about what I’m looking for in my forever person, a hidden talent of mine, and why I think I would make a great husband. Based on the other reality shows that I’ve been studying in an attempt to prepare myself, I know most people go for something bold or funny, maybe trying to win the favor of the audience or producers, but I want to take this seriously. Ireallywant to be married by the end of filming.

This feels like my last chance at finding a relationship, and I know that may sound a little dramatic for a twenty-eight-year-old to say. But I’ve tried everything else. Maybe I’m just destined to be single and marriage isn’t for me.

My last “serious” relationship was in college, and it turned out to benot that seriousto my boyfriend since he was cheating on his girlfriend from high school the entire time with me. I found out when I tried to surprise him with dinner while he claimed to be studying and found them in bed together. I was completely blindsided, heartbroken, and fucking pissed off for a long time. I’ve struggled with really trusting people since then, but eventually I decided to try dating again.

I’ve tried all the apps. Despite my best efforts at wit, charm, and genuine conversation, nine times out of ten, they just completely fizzled out. We’ll go on a first date, both say how great a time we had, and text each other about meeting up again. Sometimes, it works out for two to three dates, and then it’s just… over. Every time.

The very rare times that it progressed beyond the initial first few weeks, it turned into a situationship where, as soon as the words, “So, what are we?” were muttered, everything came to ascreeching halt. Even when they claim to be looking for a relationship in their profile, it’s like our generation is terrified of commitment.How is it that we’re all glued to our devices but have no clue how to communicate?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a prude. I’ve enjoyed my fair share of hookups in the past, but lately, they’ve been leaving me feeling empty. I’m chasing connection, and all I’m left with is the reminder that I’m still alone. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even want to hook up anymore.

I absolutely want more, but finding someone to have that with has felt impossible. I feel likeLove Without Labelsis the perfect next step for me because everyone there is actively looking to get married.At least, I hope they are.I don’t know how seriously people take these shows, but since this is season one, I feel like the applicants are more focused on the concept and less concerned with becoming famous.

I want someone to settle down with, someone who will stand by my side as I take over my family’s farm and help me turn it intoourfuture. Right now, it’s just my dad and me running it. We’ve been doing it together my entire life, and he’s ready to retire and move on from such demanding work. He’s done so much for me over the years, and I want to give him an easy retirement where he knows I’m happy and that his life’s work is in good hands.

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