Page 33 of The Reality of Wanting Him

His hand slides into my hair, gripping tight as he tugs my head back just enough to deepen the kiss even more. It’s like he needs to be closer to me, andgod, I want him to be.

I’m positive I’ve never felt this wanted. And I like it. No,I fucking love it. This is all I want now. I don’t think anything else could ever live up to the way this kiss is undoing me.

A whimper slips out this time before I can stop it, and I don’t even care. I want him to know how badly I want him. I realize I'm grinding my very hard cock into his thigh where he’s positioned it between my legs. I’ve fully crossed the line from experimental curiosity toholy shit, I want him so badly, I can’t think straight.

Ha. Not thinking straight at all, this is very much not-straight thinking. I’m definitely into him.

His other hand slips under my shirt, fingertips tracing over my abs, and I can feel his erection digging into my hip. It only makes me more desperate for him, and I grind into him more forcefully. I don’t want to stop. If only he’d move his hand a little lower?—

But instead of playing into my fantasy, he pulls back.

“Okay,” he says breathlessly, laughing softly as he steps away. “I think that’s enough for today.”

For a second, I can’t even process what he’s saying. My brain is too fogged up with want and desire to think of anything other than kissing him. I’m sure I heard him wrong.Right?

“What? No, why’d you stop?” I whine. My body is buzzing. I’m so needy for him, I can barely stand it. I’m desperate for his hands, his mouth, anything he’ll give me. I’m not even picky. I just wantmore.

Liam gives me an amused look like he’s enjoying watching me suffer and nearly beg. “Because you don’t need to jump straight into the deep end. I get it, you’re okay with me being aguy, but we can ease you into that a little before we get our cocks out.”

“Liiiiam,” I whine again because my still-very-hard dick isnotloving this plan.

“Blaaaake,” he taunts back, raising an eyebrow as he smirks at me.

I bite back a groan. “Fine, but I would like to state for the record that I’m more than willing to speed things up.” I cross my arms and sink back against the counter with a huff.

He relaxes too before laughing at my disappointed expression. “Want to get back to cooking?” he offers, and I reluctantly nod.

Not like I have much of a choice.

As much as I kind of really want to excuse myself to go finish things myself in the shower instead, I also don’t want to give up this time with him. I liked our phone-call cooking lessons, but I’m even more excited to get the live version.

I just need to stop distracting myself with how fucking hot that kiss was and enjoy this time together.

18

LIAM

Producer:Do you usually make the first move in a relationship, or wait for the other person to take the lead?

Liam:I’m not usually the first to make a move, but once we’re both in it, yeah, I like to take the lead. As long as they’re into it, too, and consenting, of course.

Ican’t believe what just happened. I didn’t want to stop.Nothing in me wanted to stop.But I knew I had to.

Despite my best judgment, I know I’m falling for Blake, and the last thing I want is to push too far too fast or end up as another experiment. I didn’t want to risk doing something Blake wasn’t ready for, and I don’t want to risk getting too attached, only for him to realize he isn’t actually into men.

I know he’d seemed confident with all his flirting and teasing, but still, it’s his first time doinganythingwith a man. There’s a very real chance he could freak out later on, and I absolutely don’t want him to do something he’d regret or end up resenting me for. I also refuse to be someone’s experiment again,someone who they string along until it’s no longer convenient for them.

And then there were the cameras.Fuck.I just thought about the cameras.

It’s not like I actually forgot they were there, but in the moment, when his hands were on me and I could feel how badly he wanted me, I hadn’t given them a single thought.

Great.I’ll just die of embarrassment when I see how completely gone I looked, watching it back. There’s no way I wasn’t staring at Blake like some lovesick fool. Which also means there’s absolutely no way I’m letting my dad watch this. If he chooses to ignore me and watch it anyway, he’d better do it far, far away from me, because there is zero chance I’m sitting next to him while he watches that scene.

Deep breaths, that’s a problem for future Liam.I urge my body to calm the hell down because my boner is definitely still noticeable.

Well, maybe the reality TV godsare on my side and they won’t actually show those clips on TV if my hard cock is clearly visible.One can only hope.

Blake and I continue to cook, and I try to stop my mind from reeling about our future. If anything, tonight proved there’s a real chance at something between us.Which is exactly why I had to slow it the fuck down before we both ended up in over our heads.

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