Page 30 of The Reality of Wanting Him

I have no idea how long we’ve been standing here staring at each other, chests heaving, when Blake ruins it by opening his mouth. “I don’t think you know how to wash the dishes either.”

Jesus.His comment pulls me out of whatever trance I was just in. I shake my head and let go of his wrist, stepping back with a shaky laugh. I don’t know what else to do. I’m definitely way too turned on to think properly, so I point toward the sink. “Wash the dishes, Blake. With soap and a sponge this time.”

Then, before he can say anything else, I turn on my heel and walk away.

Becausewhat the fuck was that?

Of course, Blake has to get in the last word. He calls out, “Yes, sir!” with so much innuendo in it that I almost turn aroundto see if his expression is all teasing or if he might actually be into the idea of me bossing him around. But I stay strong in my resolve and continue into the safety of the bedroom.

Our bedroom. Where we share a bed.Fuck, this isn’t helping.

I take out my phone, because I desperately need a distraction, and send a text to JR.

LM:

I think I’m losing my mind.

JR:

Dramatic much? What happened now?

LM:

He called me ‘sir’ with the filthiest fucking tone I’ve ever heard in my life and I swear we almost kissed.

JR:

What did you do?

LM:

I got the hell out of there before I did something stupid. I don’t want to let myself fall for him if this is all one big experiment or something he’s doing to save face in front of the cameras.

JR:

We really ended up in weird situations, huh? Wouldn’t have called it for either of us two days ago.

LM:

You could say that again.

17

BLAKE

Producer:During the blind dating round, we asked you to not discuss detailed sexual preferences out of concern that it might reveal your partner’s gender. Are you worried about being compatible now that you’ve met Liam?

Blake:You know, I probably should be. I mean, I thought I was straight when I signed up for this. But no, I’m not into anything wild. If my partner is happy, I’m happy. That’s kinda the whole point, right?

As much as I was kidding about calling Liam “sir,” I don’t hate the idea of him ordering me around a bit. Especially when we do explore the morephysicalaspects of our relationship since I’ll have no idea what I’m doing. And at this point, I’m pretty sure it is awhenand not anif.

Hypothetically, when I had considered kissing him last night, I was into the idea. But when he was holding my wrist and we were standing inches apart? All I could think was how much I wanted his lips on mine. I wanted to know what it would be like. Would it be different to kiss a man than all the women I’ve beenwith?None of them have ever been able to manhandle me like that.I think I liked it.

Actually, I know I liked it.

But then at the last second, I chickened out and decided to make a dumb comment instead. As fun as that was—and as much as I appreciated his somewhat flustered and stern reaction—I’m determined not to lose my nerve the next time the opportunity to kiss him presents itself.I need to stop hesitating.Obviously I came here because I want to get married to keep my money, and if it works out that way, then I’ll be relieved to not have to stress about finances, but that hasn’t been my focus since I really started building a connection with Liam. Being with him is fun. Part of me feels like a teenager again when I’m around him, nervous and excited to be near my crush, wanting to be closer, to kiss him, but worried about how it’ll go.

I watch TV for a bit since it seemed like Liam wanted some space, but after the second episode, I’m bored and restless.That was probably enough alone time, right?So I knock on the bedroom door.See? I can respect privacy.

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