Page 57 of The Reality of Wanting Him

That’s what I want for us.

His fingers are still dancing around my skin as I let the weight of what I shared settle between us. He takes a moment to absorb what I’m saying and then speaks. “Do you think we could have that? That you could have that with me?” His voice is soft, but the insecurity in his tone is so far from his usual cocky demeanor, that I feel a flash of guilt that I’ve ever made him question my feelings or my commitment to him.

I turn to face Blake fully, wanting to look into his eyes, hoping he can see the honesty shining in mine as I cup his jaw in my hand. “Yeah, B. I do. I wouldn’t have let us get this far in if I didn’t.”

He exhales sharply, like he’s been holding his breath waiting for me to confirm it. He still looks hesitant though, gaze roaming my face, searching for something. His lips are parted, like there’s something else he wants to say caught in his throat, something he’s not sure if he’s ready to voice. I recognize it because I feel ittoo—the weight of emotions that are bigger than either of us expected.

I’ll take the leap for both of us. I don’t want to give him any more reasons to doubt the way I feel about him.

“You don’t have to say it back if you’re not ready,” I murmur, brushing my thumb over his cheek. “But I need you to know that I love you, Blake.” I’ve been afraid to admit it, even to myself. But I think I’ve known for awhile now, and after today, finally seeing him in my world, there’s no use in pretending I’m not completely in love with this man.

His breath stutters, and for a second, he just stares at me, eyes wide like he can’t believe I actually said the words. Then, his face splits into the softest, happiest fucking smile I’ve ever seen.

“Say it again,” he whispers.

I lean in, pressing our foreheads together, letting my lips brush over his as I repeat it, slower this time.

“I love you.”

A shaky breath leaves his lips, and then, “I love you too,” he says, voice raw with emotion. “Fuck, I love you so much.”

The second the words are out, before I even get a chance to process how hearing them makes me feel, he’s kissing me, pulling me impossibly close like he’s afraid I might disappear.

But I’m not going anywhere.

I kiss him back with everything I have, sealing the words between us, pouring every ounce of love I have into him. He melts against me, and my racing heart begins to settle, the feeling of him so close providing me with a sense of peace unlike anything I’ve ever known.

This is it.

This is the love I’ve been waiting for.

27

BLAKE

Producer:Have you ever been in love before coming on this show?

Blake:Ha. Absolutely not.

Liam’s alarm wakes me up, and I want to chuck his phone. The thing must be broken. It can’t possibly be time to wake up already. I glance at the window and confirm that it’s still dark out and exhale a sigh of relief as I shut my eyes and settle back into Liam’s warm arms that are wrapped around me in his bed.He must have set the wrong time.We should have another hour or two before we actually have to get up.

But then his arm slides away from me and he places a soft kiss on the back of my neck. “Time to get up, sleepyhead.”

He did not just say that.

I groan, rolling over to chase his warmth, and when I find he’s already abandoned the bed, I pull the covers up tight over my shoulder and squeeze my eyes shut. I know he mentioned something about getting up early to do farm things, but surelythis is a prank. Some “welcome to farmlife” hazing. He can’t possibly expect me to get up when the sun isn’t even out,right?

“Don’t you want to go feed your babies,daddyBlake?” he teases, and that gets me to reluctantly open one eye, peering up at him skeptically.

“You’re serious?” I mumble, making him laugh.

“I warned you that we’d have to get up early, but it’s not even that early. It’s just winter so it’s still dark out at seven-fifteen. The cameras are probably already waiting for us outside.”

Goddamn those fucking cameras.

I finally force myself into a sitting position, opening both eyes to look around, half assuming the cameras would be in here to catch his cruel joke for the show. Thankfully, though, it’s just us in here.Fuck, I think he’s serious.Then what he said catches up to me, and I realize that means it’s time to go see my babies!

“Daddy’s coming,” I say as I throw off the blanket and jump out of bed. I know they can’t hear me, but I don'tactuallyknow.Dogs have better hearing than people, maybe other animals do too.So, on the off-chance chickens have super hearing, I figure I should reassure them that I’ll be there soon. It also makes Liam laugh, so today is already a great morning, despite the ungodly hour it is,even if it is after seven.

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