Page 38 of The Reality of Wanting Him

“It’s okay, you don’t need to apologize for your feelings. And I do want it, I want to be yours. I want you to claim me. You feeling so possessive over me is pretty hot. I just wish I could convince you of how I feel so that those doubts can stay in the past.” My wide smile morphs into a more mischievous grin. “I know I don’t have to prove anything. But I want to. I wanted to do more than kiss you last night. I’ve wanted to do more all day,” I say, stepping closer.

His lips twitch at that.

“And the idea of groveling a little?” I lean in, my voice dropping. “Super fucking hot.”

Liam smirks as he stands, moving his mouth right next to my ear. “Oh yeah? What’s your idea of groveling, straight boy? You want to earn that forgiveness?”

I can’t help but groan. “What the fuck? Even you taunting me with that nickname is hot. Hell yes, I’m into that.”

His eyes widen and he laughs a little. “I don’t even know where that came from, but I’m kinda into it too.”

“You can call me whatever you want, as long as it means you’ll let me touch your dick.” I don’t hesitate before dropping to my knees right at his feet. “I really want to explore more together, Liam.”

I can’t help my smug grin when he’s obviously surprised by the move. I promised myself that I would stop hesitating.I want him.I want to be with Liam in every way that I can imagine.

“I’m already on my knees, L, did you want me to blow you too?” I offer.

His pupils expand, making his blue eyes appear almost black as he stares down at me. He hesitates for another moment before finally taking in a very deep breath, searching my face, maybe checking how sincere my offer is. He must finally believe me, though, as he straightens to his full height and looks down his nose at me. “You want my cock in your mouth, straight boy?”

Fuuuuck.My dick is already thickening at his commanding tone as I nod up at him.Where did that deep voice come from and why did I like it so much?I love blowjobs. Having my dick sucked is one of the best feelings in the entire world. Watching a woman attempt to swallow my cock, gagging and coughing when it hits the back of her throat, has always been far more appealing to me than penetrative sex.

But now, picturing myself in that position, being the one on my knees, making Liam feel good as I choke on him…That might be even hotter.“Yes, please,” I confirm aloud when he doesn’t respond to my nodding.

He stares at me for another moment, assessing, before something in my expression convinces him that I’m serious. “Take it out then,” he commands, and I’m instantly grabbing at his pants to undo the zipper. I should probably be more hesitant about this since I’ve never touched another man’s dick before, but all I can think about is how much I want to touch him. This is about so much more than proving to Liam that I want to be with him. My aching cock certainly agrees that this is a good plan.

I get his pants open, quickly pulling them and his underwear down to free his erection. He kicks his pants out of the way, and I take a moment to fully appreciate him. His cock is long and swollen, jutting out toward me like it’s inviting me to touch, to taste. I have no idea what the hell I’m doing, but I reach out and wrap my fingers around the thick base, give an experimental tug, and rub my thumb over the prominent vein running up the side.

“I didn’t think you’d actually be so eager, straight boy,” he says, his tone somewhere between a taunt and disbelief.

“I told you I want you. And my cock digging into my zipper in response to touching your dick isn’t making me feel very straight right now.”

“Well, what are you waiting for? I thought you wanted to blow me. Wanted to prove to me that you’re all in. Do it. Suck my cock, B.”Each word sounds more confident. Something about his large body towering over me, about him bossing me around, does something to me. My whole body feels alert, buzzing with this electric anticipatory energy that I’ve never experienced. I shiver as I realize how much I’m enjoying this dynamic. He’s certainly taken control when we kissed, butthisis even better—freeing in a way I’ve never experienced.

I want to give in to this feeling. Lose myself in following his demands and focus only on making him feel good.

So, I do.

I stop thinking and lean in. Using my hand that’s still firmly gripping the base of his cock, I guide him to my mouth, licking up the underside before wrapping my lips around the head. The salty taste that explodes in my mouth takes me by surprise. I have no idea what I was expecting, but I definitely don’t hate it.Why have I never tasted my own cum before?

He lets out a soft moan as I hum while sucking on his tip. I swirl my tongue around his cock as I explore my new toy. And his dick really does feel like my new toy as I think about all the things Liam and I can do together.If I already like this so much, what else have I been missing out on?

My cock is aching, begging to be freed from my uncomfortable pants, but even ignoring that, in favor of making Liam feel good, gives me a rush. It’s intoxicating. Sure, I want to give him control, but I’m still the one ultimately making that choice. I know he wouldn’t be doing any of this if I didn’t want him to be.

I love that he isn’t falling at my feet like that guy tonight at the bar asking about football. I love that Liam hasn’t once asked about my family’s money in a way that makes me think he’d beafter using it for his own gain. It’s obvious that Liam is passionate about the things he cares about without making a show of it. He talks about his dad with so much love, it makes me ache for a family like that of my own someday. He’s steady in a way I didn't know I needed. He’s safe without being boring, solid without being controlling, and he’s the only person I've ever truly connected with on this deep a level. I love that Liam seems to know what I want without me having to tell him—that he can read my body language and boss me around while still completely respecting me.

I didn’t realize just how much I trust Liam until this moment. More than I’ve ever trusted another person. It’s kind of scary to acknowledge the hold he has on me already, but I know I’m not the only one feeling this way. He wouldn’t have been so upset tonight thinking I would leave him for Rachel if he didn’t want this thing between us just as much as I do.

With all of these thoughts racing through my mind, I’m determined to make this good for him. I leave sloppy, open-mouth kisses up and down his shaft, wanting to get his cock nice and wet before I try to take more of him into my mouth. It’s no easy task with how big his dick actually is—bigger than mine at least—and I only manage to get maybe half of it into my mouth as he thrusts forward before my gag reflex kicks in and I start coughing.

He doesn’t apologize or let up, though, and I love that he isn’t treating me like I’m fragile, or like I can’t handle this. That’s not what we need right now. I know firsthand how hot it is to have my partner gagging around me. The fact that Liam is watching me do the same to him has me leaking. He cups my jaw with one hand, and I finally look away from his swollen dick, up through my lashes, to meet his gaze.

“Fuck, Blake, watching you choke on my cock has to be the hottest thing I’ve ever seen,” he says in that gravely tone that I’mnow obsessed with. “You doing okay?” he checks, cupping my jaw and swiping away the tears in my eye with his thumb.

I nod, still working him in my mouth.

“Tap my leg twice if you need me to stop, okay? Do it now to show me you understand.” I do exactly what he asks without hesitation.

“That’s good, B,” he praises, and I sink even further into the amazing feeling of this new experience. “Now, I need to ask you a question, and I want a real answer, so you need to stop for a moment.”Yeah, that’s not happening.I try to take him deeper again when Liam suddenly slides his fingers through my hair, gripping tightly so he can yank my head back, forcing me off him.

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