Page 28 of The Reality of Wanting Him

I get that out too and pour us each a cup, placing them on the table with the cream since I don’t know how much he likes yet.

When he brings the food over, he’s eyeing the table suspiciously. “I thought you said you were bad at little things in relationships?” he accuses.

I eye the coffee and plates I grabbed. “I’m bad at small romantic gestures, not basic human decency,” I offer him a small smile, still unsure where we stand.

“I just figured that the rich city boy might be used to being served and waited on,” he teases back, making me fully smile.

Holy shit, is this flirting?The fluttering nervous feeling in my stomach certainly seems to think so. Obviously I liked talking to LM before we met. But now, having met Liam, spending time with him and acknowledging how nervous and excited I am around him, it's clear that his gender isn’t affecting those feelings.

“Thanks for making me breakfast,” I say earnestly. “This is nice—eating together. Way better than you trying to teach me how to cook over the phone with those robot voices.”

He laughs, a warm sound that makes my stomach flip all over again.

16

LIAM

Producer:What’s the best date you’ve ever been on?

Liam:I’m more of a slow evening at home kind of person. I’d rather just stay in, cook together, talk. Something simple where it feels like we’re actually getting to know each other.

Blake really does seem completely unaffected by the idea of being with a man, and honestly,it’s confusing as fuck.

It’s like none of this even fazes him. Like waking up next to me, sharing a space, living with a guy he thought was a woman this whole time, is just another normal day. He passed right out last night too. No late-night tossing and turning, contemplating if he really wanted to do this. He just accepted it without barely a moment of reflection or hesitation.

Maybe that’s just who he is—completely confident that everything will always work out for him. It’s messing with my head.

Him coming into the bathroom while I’m showering so he can pee and brush his teeth?Not considerate.But then thankingme for making breakfast and getting our coffees and plates?That definitely is.

I’m trying to put all the pieces together from all our dates and it just doesn’t add up. I don’t know what to think about him.

Then there’s the thing I’ve been trying to get out of my head since this morning, but can’t seem to stop thinking about. He was hard this morning when I woke up. I was lying there trying to figure out how to escape from his hold without waking him so he wouldn’t realize how he’d wrapped himself around me in his sleep. But before I could figure it out, he was awake, and he didn’t even care.At all. I was expecting him to finally have some sort of sexual identity crisis realizing his hard dick was rubbing against me, but Blake wasn’t even remotely panicked.He was even excited about it.

I don’t know what to make of him. Every time I think I have him figured out, he surprises me again. It’s like, no matter how hard I try, I can’t get a read on him, but I can’t help but think the way he’s handled his apparent sexual awakening is… sweet? Endearing?

Which just makes this harder. I’m not sure how to describe him, and I hate that I’m spending this much time thinking about a potential relationship with him when this will probably be over before it really begins anyway.

“So,” I start, trying to stop the loop my mind is on. “You mentioned football and locker rooms last night. Is there anything you didn’t tell me when we were blind dating that you want to tell me now?”

He seems to consider it for a moment before nodding his head. “I think there are two things, really. One likely isn’t a surprise, though, since you’ve made a comment already.”

Okay, that has my curiosity piqued.

“The first thing is that I do come from money, but my parents are kind of sick of my shit, so we’ll see if I still have it by the end of this.” He laughs.Maybe his parents don’t approve of himon this show.“The other is that I don’t have a job. I’ve actually never had a real job. It’s why I help my mom with her charity work. It was a compromise of sorts. At least, initially. I really do like it now.”

He never mentioned a job when we were talking and I didn’t want to ask in case it was a touchy subject, but I guess that makes sense. No one’s mom does charity work seemingly full-time unless they’re rich. It’s not a luxury the working class has.

Blake sighs. “I know how it sounds.”

“Do you?” I ask before I can stop myself.

“Yeah, I do. Trust fund baby, parents cutting me off, no real ambition, the whole stereotype. I get it.”

I cross my arms. “And is it wrong?”

Blake shrugs. “Not really. But to be fair, I did have a plan. It just… didn’t work out.”

“Let me guess, something with football?”

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