Page 38 of Accidentally Joining His Cult

I putthe phone back in my pocket, ignoring the buzzing that indicates at least three more messages from Cody. His back-to-back messaging really is cute.Fuck. Everything he does is endearing.

How am I supposed to go months without seeing him again?

“So, Beck, does this mean you finally have a boyfriend?” Oakley teases me.

“Haha, very funny.” I smack him on the side of his head, and he sticks his tongue out at me like we’re children again. He’s always been the closest to me, both in age and in friendship. We both like to give the other shit, but I’d do anything for him, and I know that he’d do the same for me.

“So, where’s your better half?” I ask him.

“He’s out back playing fetch with Spot,” he answers, not having to ask who I’m referring to. Our whole family has referred to Oakley’s best friend, Parker, as his better half for years. His dad passed away when we were kids, and even though they’d been close before it happened, they’ve been inseparable ever since.

“Is heyourboyfriend yet?” I tease, knowing full well they both identify as straight. With how much they dote on each other and constantly find reasons to touch, though, it’s no wonder people often assume they’re a couple.

“Haha, very funny,” he repeats my words. “But, wearedating these awesome girls we met in our building,” he says, perking up. Then he tells us about how they kept running into the girls at the gym in their building, how they are also roommates and lifelong best friends, and how the four of them have been going on double dates and hanging out all together.

Oakley keeps emphasizing how great it is to be able to all go on dates together so he doesn’t lose time with Parker. I exchange a skeptical look with my youngest brother, Lincoln, who mutters something under his breath about everyone loving the closets in their building.

I chuckle but shake my head, I’m happy for Oakley and his very codependent best friend. Maybe this will be the perfect situation for them to find someone serious.

His relationships in the past have all fallen apart, usually because the girls don’t understand why a wealthy thirty-year-old man would choose to have a roommate, or they complain about how they feel neglected with the amount of time he spends with Parker. I know that Oakley gets anxious about Parker’s diabetes, and that he’s more comfortable knowing Parker isn’t alone for extended amounts of time, but I’ve also wondered if it might be more than that.

Oakley’s always insisted that the right woman for him wouldn’t care about how close he and Parker are. He’s always wanted a big family with lots of kids and the white picket fence in the suburbs, and I’ve always hoped for that future for him.

Does Cody want kids?I don’t think I’ve ever even thought about having them. I’ve never slept with anyone who could get pregnant, so luckily, I’ve never had to worry about accidentally becoming a dad.

But now, for the first time, I’m beginning to realize I want more with someone–with Cody.

That realization shouldn’t shock me, but it does. My brother teased me earlier about having a boyfriend, and for the first time, I wish he were right. It's evident to me now that I want to be in a relationship with Cody, but no matter how much I want a future with him, I don’t see how it could work in the long term.

Even if we agreed to be exclusive—which I want to do but am too afraid to ask in case we aren’t on the same page—how often would we realistically see each other?

Cody works a lot of weekends, so even if I flew to wherever he was on my days off, we’d only get a few hours together at most. And even if I signed up for the programs he’s teaching, his schedule wouldn’t allow for much time together. His first class proved that—they even worked through lunch for fuck’s sake. And neither of us is looking to change our career. There’s no way I could step back from the Werewolves—not when I’ve spent my entire life dreaming about this role. I’ve worked my ass off for the last seventeen years to learn all of the ins and outs that keep the team, arena, and league running smoothly.

I know how much the Werewolves mean to the city because they mean so much to me. I don’t know who I’d be without Werewolves hockey.

And Cody is so important to Kyla. It was apparent during the retreat that he’s well-respected in the company. The other executives clearly rely on him to keep the business as successful as it is. During the class that Cody taught at the retreat, one of his buddies mentioned that recruitment and retention rates more than triple in any area Cody visits to run programs compared to their other coaches. He’s not just a good employee, he’s essential to their success.

He also obviously loves Linna and all of his friends there. How could he possibly leave that? Kyla was his first job right out of college. What would he even do if he came here?

Feeling discouraged, I try to focus on spending time with my family. We have a great night, and I manage to stay off my phone despite my thoughts constantly shifting back to Cody. I even delay my departure by helping my grandma with the dishes and packing up the leftover food she always manages to have, despite having a full house for dinner. When they practically kick me out, saying I need to get back to the city, I finally get into my car and pull out my phone.

Goldie

Talk to you later!

Goldie

Maybe call me while you drive home so that you can tell me more about your perfect family, I want to know everything!

Goldie

I mean, if you want.

Goldie

Not trying to sound like a total clinger here, I’m casual and not at all needy *sunglasses emoji*

Goldie

---