Page 72 of Beyond Hate

Chapter 26

Otto

Hewashopeless.

Horrible at defending himself. He had no sense of self-preservation, and I was pretty sure if I asked him to, London would let me cut him open so I could hold his heart in my hands.

He waseverything.

And helovedme.

In all the memories I had, all the lifetimes that were trapped inside my mind in little bits and pieces, I’d never wanted anything as much as I wanted him. I hadn’t wanted Nikki this much… I hadn’t wanted todiethis much when I’d been tortured. I hadn’t wanted to kill pretty men who looked like him this way.

I wanted him so much it made my soul ache, made me feel all the places in my life where he should have fit a thousand times over and I’d been denied. It truly felt like we’d existed in some fucked-up realm where fate was holding a grudge against us and we’d finally escaped. It felt like the world wasrightfor the first time.

Even as I thought it, my eyes carefully took stock of all the bruises and bite marks on London’s skin. The cut on his chestthat matched mine. I could admit that seeing them still horrified a part of me—maybe the part of me that was Otto, the boy who’d been found on the street by Elizabeth Blythe and forced to be a killer… the boy who was soft, who’d wrapped himself up in Nikki’s arms at night because he didn’twantto become a monster.

But that Otto felt so far away from where I was now, and London made the prettiest sounds when I made him bleed.

“Mmm, I can feel you staring at me.” He didn’t even open his eyes when he swatted his hand out in an attempt to grab me. He just let me wrap my fingers around his wrist and pin his arm to the bed. Sliding my body to cover his forced a little moan from his chest.

“What if I am?”

“Don’t stop.” It was the softest request, accompanied by his arm slipping around my waist like he could keep me close as long as he held me. I didn’t know how to tell him that the only way he’d be able to get rid of me now was if he killed me again… and I was pretty sure I’d already proven that even that wasn’t a permanent solution.

“What if we can’t find out who it is?” He sounded like he didn’t even want to bring it up, and I saw the way his body instantly shrank in on itself when I turned to look at him. I didn’t have to be a professional to understand the reaction—he’d spent most of his life being hurt for questioning things, beaten down if he expressed even a moment of uncertainty. The muscle in his jaw stood out when I raised my hand, his brows drawing together…

And then his entire body relaxed into it when I smoothed my fingers along his cheek, gently running them through his hair and tugging. “I’ll find out who it is, and if I can’t, we’ll gosomewhere far enough away that they won’t know how to find you.” No punishment. No anger at him questioning my abilities. Just my fingers running through his hair until I watched him nearly melt at the touch.

I hadn’t asked him much… and I wasn’t sure it would begoodfor me to know the names of every person who had ever hurt him.

I was willing to make rivers run red for London, but I didn’t know how happy he’d be to have those deaths on his conscience. It was something I could do on my own time, without him knowing.

Everyone needed a hobby, right?

My eyes flicked to the soft smile that drifted across his lips, the way he was looking up at me as if the entire world was trapped behind my eyes and he was floating in my atmosphere—it sounded just about right. If I was the ground, he was the sky. If I was dirt, he was the stars.

He was everything good and pure and right in the world… and I was more than willing to get my hands dirty to make sure he stayed that way.

“Rabbit… What if we—”

The knock on the door cut me off before I had a chance to suggest we just gonow… and a small part of me wanted to take the knife I’d given London from the pocket of my jacket hanging on the chair and run it through whoever kept rapping their knuckles against the door.

“It could be important.” London’s voice was cautious. After all, there was no reason for anyone to know where we were, so there was no reason for someone to be at the door.

Unless it was the person who owned the house, maybe?

I stood, prepared to pull whoever it was inside, to take care of them if I had to… but when I opened the door and a uniformed officer was standing there, my brows snapped together.

“What do you want?” Hostility in the face of the police might not have been the best idea, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. He was interrupting time I wanted to keep for myself—of course, I wantedallof London’s time for myself.

“Is London Ellis here?” A small part of me wanted to tell himno, but London was already coming around the corner, thankfully with my jacket pulled on so the marks on his body were hidden beneath the soft leather. It wasn’t that I cared if people saw them, but I didn’t think an official investigating murders needed to ask questions.

“Is everything okay, Officer Renn?” London’s voice was sweet when he came up to my side, but I could see the strain at the corner of his eyes, could tell that his smile was slightly off.

“Afternoon, Mr. Ellis. I’m afraid I need to ask you to come down to the station with me.”

My hand automatically shot out, wrapping around London’s waist like I could somehow keep him hidden from what he’d just been asked if I put my arms around him. I probably shouldn’t kill a police officer because he wanted to talk to him, but I didn’t like the waycome down to the stationsounded like an accusation.

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