Page 56 of Beyond Hate

But now…

He answered me by clicking one cuff into place. The scenario played in my head, violent and a little vicious—I’d been tied down when I’d been tortured… left strapped to a bed…

And I kept waiting for that to roar through me, to turn me into some kind of monster that figured out a way to get loose so I could throw him off as he crawled across me to click the other cuff into place, leaving me chained down and at his mercy.

I kept waiting for my past to flash behind my eyes and prove that heneededto have me cuffed down if we were going to do this.

But all I saw was London, soft and sweet, with bruises fading on his skin as he threw his towel to the side and crawled between my legs.

I didn’t see my past in the man who smoothed his hands softly up the length of my thighs and took a trembling breath as he studied my nude body. I saw my future. I saw…

Redemption.

“Do you still want to hurt me?” he whispered, as he dropped forward and skimmed his nose along the curve of my hip, ghosting a featherlight touch across my skin that seemed hellbent on erasing a dozen memories of times I’d been cut, burned, beaten. That soft touch drew them out like poison from a wound, cleansing me.

Making me feel alive.

Making me honest.

“Yes.”

His eyes flicked up the length of my body, and he pressed a kiss to my hip before drifting his mouth in a soft burst of exhalation across my stomach until he hovered over my cock. I was hard, talking about hurting him. Hard because I’d killed someone for him.

I was hard because he was touching me.

I was hard because it seemed like no matter what dark parts of me he saw, London still wanted me.

“Everything in my life has always hurt… I think it’s time for both of us to realize that it can feel good too.”

I wanted to tell him I’d thought that way once, but he stole the words from my chest when he parted his lips and took me into his mouth in one smooth motion that left me buried in the back of his throat. It wasn’t graceful or smooth, it wasn’t seductive. It held a sweet burst of desperation that made it feel even better, because London wrapped his lips around me and sucked my cock like it was the only thing he could do to anchor himself tothe world, like it was the only thing he could do that would make him feel whole.

I groaned, my hips flexing up in need, chasing the heat of his mouth and the convulsions of his throat when he swallowed around me.

“Your mouth feels amazing, rabbit. All hot and needy. You take me so good.” His eyes rolled up to meet mine at the praise, and the sight of them wet and wide made me groan. “Fuck, I’d kill the entire world if it meant I got to see you looking at me like that forever.”

London whined around me, sucking hard enough I felt the slightest edge of his teeth, before he pulled off with a wet pop that left my cock slapping back against my bare stomach. He licked his swollen lips as he stared up at me, and I wondered if this was the first time anyone had actuallypraisedhim for what he was doing. It made my stomach clench, and I got to watch him stare in fascination at the muscles of my abdomen contracting.

“Do you know what I’d really like, London?” The second I said it, his eyes widened, and I felt his body flex against the bed. As much as he was taking control to makemefeel comfortable with the situation, it was obvious that it wasn’t what he really wanted. “I want you to crawl up here and fuck my mouth.”

His pupils blew wide at the suggestion, and watching the way his body leaned into me from the demand alone told me howbeautifulhe’d be beneath me if the roles were reversed… but no. If I had the chance to get my hands on him right now, with the urges still running through my body… if I ever had the chance to get my hands on him when he was soft and vulnerable…

Fuck, I wanted him, and I didn’t trust myself to have him in all the ways my body craved.

For now, this would have to do.

Almost as though he was unsure of himself, London slowly crawled along the length of my body—the movement reminded me of the times I’d watched him on stage. He seemed to sway to some inner music I couldn’t hear. It was beautiful.

Hewas beautiful.

“Are you sure you want… I mean, I could…” He trailed off as he glanced down at me, his bleached hair falling into his gaze. Somewhere beneath the uncertainty, I could see the ghosts of what had happened still drifting behind his eyes, trying to make their way to the surface.

I wanted to kill Hudson all over again for ever making him look that way, but for now, I’d settle on this.

“Show me how much you need me, rabbit.” The words came out in a low, rumbly demand, and London nodded once before shifting to straddle my shoulders. His cock was hard, standing pink and dripping precum just from having me in his mouth. The way hewantedwas just as innocent as the rest of him, and I was greedy when I parted my lips and took him to the back of my throat in a smooth motion that left me groaning.

This was good—this was something I could get addicted to. The feel of him gliding past my lips made me want to shut my eyes and give myself over to the feel of it, even though my cock was aching to be touched again… but I couldn’t.

I couldn’t because I was enraptured by the expression on his face. His eyes were closed, and his head was thrown back. He thrust into my mouth with one hand in his hair and the other roaming across his body like he didn’t realize he was doing it. His nails scratched red marks across his chest, his fingers pinched at his nipples until he shivered. He drifted his arm up and tickled against his throat and jawline, then tangled the digits in his hair and pulled.

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