Page 45 of Beyond Hate

I stepped forward and pressed my mouth to his without giving him a chance to move away, and the taste of the tears on his lips was intoxicating. It drew a groan from my chest, and my arm darted out, wrapping around his waist so I could pull him against me.

This kiss was different. It wasn’t my mouth on his to punish him, or to show him that I was a monster who could have him any time I wanted. It wasn’t him trying to distract me so I wouldn’t hurt him.

I kissed him because it felt good to press my mouth to his. I kissed him because I wondered if I’d be able to taste the apology on his tongue, and it would be enough to satiate the monster inside me that still demanded he pay for everything that had happened in my past.

In the end, I couldn’t taste anything but London’s tears and the sweetness of his mouth against mine. I couldn’t feel anything but the way he froze against me and his heart started racing, and then his arms lifted and wrapped around my shoulders. He tangled his fingers in my hair and tilted his head back, giving me better access to lick into his mouth when he parted his lips.

It felt like the first time London had kissed me without intention behind it, the first time he was kissing me back without the wings of his own trauma chasing him to comfort.

London was kissing me because he wanted to, and my entire world was drowning in the sweet taste of him, the scent of sugar and honey that seemed unique to him.

Everything soft.

Everything Nikki had never been.

It was the first time I was kissing him without the memories of a ghost wrapped around us both.

The knowledge didn’t stop the instincts in my body from taking over—I didn’t care that we were on the sidewalk and there were people around us who were probably offended by two menstanding there wrapped around one another like they were the only thing that existed. It didn’t stop me from sucking on his tongue until he was shivering, and drawing his lower lip between my teeth so I could bite down hard enough to taste copper.

Instead of pulling away at the pain, London’s fingers in my hair clenched and he pushed closer. His breath was hot and quick, so fast I was sure he’d hyperventilate if he didn’t slow down, and his body rocked against mine like he’d completely forgotten where we were.

Fuck, I wanted to take him apart, and he seemed completely willing to let me. He’d said it in his apartment, to that asshole he lived with—I wanted him. He knew it. He’d known it all along.

Maybe even before I was willing to admit it… but I was admitting it now.

IneededLondon.

Which meant we needed to get off the street and somewhere I could do just that.

I pulled back, drowning instantly in the dazed heat that danced across his features. He looked so warm and wrecked from a kiss alone, like his entire world had turned upside down.

Like he’d changed.

“I think we need to go somewhere private to finish this conversation.”

By conversation, I meant the way his body felt pressed to mine, but London’s expression shifted. It went sweet, soft, swirling behind the heat in a kaleidoscope of emotion I couldn’t follow. Everything was still caught behind the haze of limited emotions thanks to the body I was in, the mind and instincts that still remained. I knew if I’d been the man I once was, the feelings trapped in my chest might have completely broken me—the knowledge that London was something I wanted, something I could keep. Something that could maybe… maybe fill the holes in my soul Nikki had left behind.

Apparently, I didn’t have to, because I could tell London was feeling enough for all our lives combined. It was there in his expression, in the way his eyes searched my face like he was really seeing me for the first time. I could almost watch as every bit of resistance he had melted away and left him vulnerable in front of me.

The screeching sound of a car swerving tore my attention away from that sweet, confused look, the words it looked like he was trying to figure out how to say trapped behind his eyes. Thankfully instinct led me over panic, and I jerked us both to the side as the sound of metal scraping the sidewalk roared just behind me.

They’d come up onto the walkway to try to hit us, and there were people screaming just ahead because they’d apparently hitsomeone.

The impact of our bodies slamming to the ground was enough to knock the air out of me, and when I glanced up, all that sweetness on London’s face was gone. It was replaced with fear and panic.

“D-did… did they do that on purpose?”

Fuck, would a normal person have lied to him? Probably. But that wasn’t the kind of man I was.

“I think so. Do you have any other enemies I need to know about, London?”

The horror on his face deepened, and he shook his head quickly. “No. I’ve neverdoneanything… I… fuck.” His eyes darted to the person on the sidewalk in front of us. They were pale, in shock… but from what I could see, they were mostly unharmed. And the car had sped off down the street, no plates to be seen. I hadn’t caught a good glimpse of the driver. Their hood had been up.

And…

Hm. Yeah, it was probably intentional. Maybe they’d been aiming for the person in front of us, or maybe it had just been road rage finally manifesting… but whoever it was had wanted to hurt someone. And honestly, it probably wasn’t London they were after. Iknewthe body I was in had enemies. What if it was one of them? “You need to get out of here before they come back.”

That hadn’t really been the plan. I wanted to keep him close, but I needed to see if I could figure out who’d just tried to hit us with a car. I needed him somewhere safe and locked away.

---