Page 3 of Knot Our Reality

Raising an eyebrow, I let Remington help me off the ground—something that’s hard to do on my own—before wrapping an arm around Hawk’s shoulders and allowing him to lead me away.

“What did you want to talk about, baby?” I ask.

“My dads would want you to be happy, Mom,” Hawk tells me as pain lances through me. “You’re the bestest mom, but you should be happy. I want you to be happy.”

So much for not crying.

“I am happy, baby. You don’t know how happy you and Jasper make me.”

Hawk nods. “I know, but it’s not the same. Please, Mom?”

I’m not fully sure what he’s asking me, but I know I’m not going to tell him no. “Okay, Hawk. I promise.”

What am I promising him? Who knows?

But I know I’d say anything to wipe away the worry in his eyes.

He’s too young for this. He should never be worried about me. That’s not his job.

“Thank you, Mom.” Hawk hugs me, running his hand down my stomach. “See you soon, baby bro.”

Then he’s gone, leaving me staring after him as my tears continue to fall.

“Are you okay?” Remington asks cautiously, and I shake my head.

“I have no idea.”

My brother snorts, and it sends both of us into peals of laughter as I lean against him.

After crying, it’s a welcome distraction.

“Emilia?”

I look up to find Bree and Tessa standing there, and I know my time is up.

“Thank you for everything, Remy.” I hate that he’s so much taller than me. I want to kiss him on the cheek, but the only way I can do that is if he leans down.

“I’ll always be here for you, Emilia.” He kisses the top of my head. “Now, go find you a pack.”

Tessa and Bree walk on each side of me as we head toward the main house.

“Did you enjoy the extra day with the boys?” Tessa asks, and I nod.

While they’d been able to find twenty suitors for my surprise season, four of them had to back out at the last minute.

Pack Astor was on the first season ofHeated. They hadn’t been the pack for Bree but had been willing to come on this season. Honestly, from what I remember of them on the show, they probably would’ve been just what I was looking for.

Instead, they found not just one but two omegas—an omega pair—just two weeks before the show was to begin. I can’t be mad at them for finding their happiness. It’s definitely more than I could have offered them.

Unfortunately, with the short time frame, Bree and Tessa hadn’t been able to find four suitors to take their place. At least, not ones that I wouldn’t have kicked off immediately because of their scents.

Besides the suitors from past seasons, they have at least another hundred pre-approved alphas and betas I could’ve chosen based on their scents, but my omega wanted nothing to do with them. That means that, unlike the past omegas, I’m only starting with sixteen suitors.

At least that’s fewer people for me to hurt.

I just have to hope I can find a group of people who will be willing to accept that I can’t love them. That doesn’t mean I can’t be a good omega for them. It would be nice to come off the suppressants after I have my baby boy. I can even give them a few children.

I’m just not capable of loving them.

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