Page 19 of Knot Our Reality

Not until I figure out the mess inside of me and how I want to move forward with the show. Whether I want to go the safe route or not.

“Good night,kotyonok. I will see you on Saturday.” With those words, Sasha steps back and heads for the stairs.

Lee steps up, taking my hand in his and bringing it to his lips. “As you meet your other suitors, remember there’s nothing wrong with speaking about your pack. Anyone who makes you think otherwise isn’t the right person for you.”

Then he’s gone.

Malik says nothing as he kisses my cheek before stepping back for Bradley. My beta suitor offers me a small smile, squeezing my hand.

“Thank you for the amazing date, Emilia. We’ll see you soon.”

I practically fall into my suite as they leave me alone, my thoughts a complete mess.

One thing is for sure—I was not prepared for what was waiting for me onHeated.

Chapter Five

Sasha

Being back onHeatedis strange.

I had almost forgotten what it was like being a suitor. The setup might be slightly different, but it feels just the same. I like the way they only introduce four suitors at once, giving us a chance to get to know the omega in smaller groups before throwing us into a big group.

Lee, Malik, and Bradley all seem like good men, and I am glad they arrived with me.

Then there is Emilia.

She is everything I could want in an omega, but I am not sure she is ready for what she signed up for. Not that she has much of a choice in the matter.

My blood boils over what has been done to her and what she is being forced to do.

It is clear to anyone with eyes that she is not over losing her pack. I am sure many would say two years is more than enough time to grieve, but everyone handles loss differently. Emilia was gutted by losing her pack, and she has not gotten over that. It is so easy for me to see that I wonder how the others in her life did not see it.

I have no problems accepting that she still loves them. It does not mean she cannot love me or anyone she chooses for her pack, but I am not sure she believes that to be true.

I will make it my goal to be sure she continues to speak about the men she loves—because she needs to. She has been silent for too long as sheclings to her grief and loss. She is not ready to move on because she has not let go of them.

Should I feel like I am competing against their memory to win her? Maybe, but I do not.

Even if she does not choose me for her pack, I hope I am able to help her move on with her life. She will have to learn on her own that finding a new pack does not mean she is replacing her first pack.

No worthy man or woman would wish for their love to be alone for the rest of their life, grieving what they lost. This is especially true of an omega. They are not meant to spend their lives alone.

If they choose to, they can, but they will never be completely happy. Their biological imperatives will always drive them to find a pack, or at the very least, an alpha to help them with their heats.

Emilia has chosen to be on suppressors, but eventually, they will no longer be enough. She will go into heat, and she will need to have a pack at her side.

I hope I will be a member of said pack, but if I am not, I will be happy knowing she has them.

Ugh.

How am I already so obsessed with this woman—this omega? I have known her for less than twenty-four hours, and already, I feel like I would lay my life down for hers.

I did not feel like this with Bree, but I know that is because we were not meant to be. I cared for her—I still do—but I do not love her. If I had loved her, I never would have leftHeatedwhen I did.

It was the best choice for both of us. If I remained, I do not believe Bree would have chosen me, but if she had, it would have been a mistake.

Because Emilia is the woman I want to be with for the rest of my life.

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