Page 61 of Knot Our Reality

Huh. I hadn’t thought about it like that.

“Not even remotely. I wonder if I stop thinking about it like that, if I’ll feel less guilty. Because whatever I have with my new pack, it’ll be different from what I shared with Davis, Maxwell, Gerald, and Ryan. I’m really not trying to replace them or what they meant to me. I’m just trying to find a way to be happy with a different pack.” I pause, smiling. “They’d want that for me.”

Finn’s smile grows. “They would, and I’m glad you realize that. Do you want to tell me about your first pack?”

I don’t hesitate this time, telling him about meeting my guys for the first time. Sharing our story and how pack life was different from how I thought it would be—even though I’d grown up with a parental pack. I tell him about seeing them as fathers for the first time. How we always managed to find time as a pack after we had kids. I even tell him about how hard it was seeing Davis in the hospital bed, as he told me how much they all loved me.

How hard it was saying goodbye to him after the doctors told me his chances of making it through the surgery were slim. How devastated I’d been when they told me he was gone, too. How I relied on my parents and brother to get through the months that followed. The pain I felt, and still feel at times.

It’s like once I start, I can’t stop.

By the time I finish, there are drying tears on my cheeks as I take a deep breath and let it out.

I feel lighter—better than I have in a long time.

“Thank you, Finn,” I murmur, wiping my cheeks.

“For what? Doing my job?”

That makes me smile. “For being here, and yes, for doing your job. For talking to me. For listening to me. I didn’t realize just how much I needed to get that out.”

Finn returns my smile. “I’m happy you felt comfortable enough to talk to me. This is just the start of you healing, but you’ve taken a great step in the right direction.”

He winces when he glances at his watch. I have a similar reaction when my eyes find the wall clock. I’ve been down here for over two hours.

“I’m sorry, Emilia. Once you started talking, I didn’t want to interrupt you. I wasn’t paying attention to the time.” He glances at my belly. “You have to be starving.”

Of course, my stomach chooses right then to growl. I swear my body isn’t like this when I’m not pregnant.

“It’s fine. I still have time to eat before I get ready,” I assure him.

“I’m surprised Tessa hasn’t stomped down here to yell at me for keeping you for so long,” he admits. “Or even Bree. I know you’re a busy woman who will be trying to get to know her suitors and see her children when she can, but I think it would be best to meet at least a few times a week for now.”

If he’d said that earlier, I would’ve argued with him. But now?

Now, I understand the journey ahead of me, and I know it’s one I can’t traverse on my own. “I think that’s a great idea.”

Before he has a chance to respond, there’s a knock at the door.

Finn chuckles. “It’ll be interesting to see which one it is. Come on, I’ll walk you out.”

When he swings open the door, we find both Tessa and Bree standing there. It pulls laughter from both of us, leaving the two of them to stare at us in bewilderment.

I don’t even try to explain it as they walk me to my suite, where my dinner is waiting.

This might not be the experience I expected it to be, but I find I don’t mind it so much now.

One therapy session down, and I feel like a million bucks.

Was it hard talking about them? Of course, but I don’t know that it’ll ever be easy.

But as Finn said, this feels like a step in the right direction.

Chapter Sixteen

Emilia

“Stop messing with it.” Evangeline slaps my hand away from the velvet of my dress. “It’s lying perfectly right now.”

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