“Who—” Evangeline cuts off with a shake of her head as she hisses. “Your pack.”
I nod, tears pooling in my eyes. “They were my everything, and now it feels like I’m trying to replace them. I don’t want to replace them, but I don’t have a choice.”
“No, Emilia.” Evangeline pulls me into her arms, hugging me close. She’s a few inches taller than me, but I can comfortably rest my head on her shoulder, so I do just that. “You’re not trying to replace them. No one can ever replace them in your heart. What you’re doing is moving on and finding others you can care for. Do you think your pack would want you to be alone for the rest of your life?”
I already know the answer to that, even if I hate admitting it to myself or anyone else.
“No,” I say so softly that I don’t think she hears me at first.
“You’re right. They wouldn’t want that for you or for your boys. What happened to your pack is tragic, and it’s something no one should have to go through. I can’t imagine losing my pack. You’re so fucking strong, Emilia. There are so many omegas who lose their will to live after losing a mate—let alone their entire pack.” She rubs slow, soft circles on my back as my tears spill over. “But you’ve already made it past that point. You didn’t just survive it—you thrived. It might not feel like it to you, but I promise you, you’re a rockstar.
“What you have to do is stop thinking of this experience as trying to replace them. Your suitors? They’re going to understand that you still love your pack—how can you not? They were your life. Your everything. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t room in your heart for a new pack. Your pack would want you and your boys happy. As an omega, you’re never going to be happy without a pack. I mean, you could try to do it with just an alpha, but, personally, there’s no way I could do it without a pack.”
I nod into her neck, hoping I’m not completely ruining my makeup.
“It’s been hard doing it on my own,” I admit.
“Of course it has. We’re not built to do this on our own. Yes, we can do it if we have to, but you don’t have to.” Evangeline sighs. “And you’re not being given a choice. Even if you wanted to do it on your own, you can’t. Which is such bullshit, but we both already know that.”
I snort, pulling back from her. “I don’t know if I can change the way I think about it overnight, but I can at least try.”
I’m not actually sure I can do that, but I have to at least try, right?
Fuck.
This is so much harder than I thought it would be.
“That’s all anyone can ask of you.” Evangeline bites her lip, trying to hold back a laugh, I think.
“I look like a deranged raccoon, don’t I?” I ask, and she nods as laughter spills from her. “Let me call Tessa and get her to send Allison back in. At least you didn’t mess up your hair.”
Ten minutes later, Allison has whipped me back into shape—using waterproof mascara this time. A mistake on her part, she admitted.
Bree is escorting me outside for my interview with Reginald while Tessa walks Evangeline back to their cabin.
“Where’s Elliot?” I ask, realizing she doesn’t have the baby anymore.
“He’s with Emmett and Onyx back at our cabin with the other littles. As much as I’d love to keep him with me while I’m working, I can’t for this part. I can’t be seen toting around the kids on national television.” She rolls her eyes. “Apparently, it’s unprofessional—as per the studio. Honestly, it’s easier because we don’t need him to start screaming while you’re meeting your suitors.”
Yeah, that’s valid.
We come to a stop at the base of the stairs leading up to the gazebo, where Reginald is waiting. I take a moment to gather myself.
No matter how much this feels like a betrayal to my pack, this is something I have to do.
Lifting my head, I climb the stairs and smile as Reginald takes my hand and leads me over to my chair.
“Hello again, Emilia. Are you ready for this?”
I snort, sitting down and making sure I don’t mess up my dress. “Absolutely not.”
He laughs. “That’s understandable.”
I wave him off as he sits across from me. “I’m good to go.”
“If you’re sure.” Reginald hesitates for a moment, his eyes never leaving me. When I don’t say anything, he just nods and settles back into his seat.
The smile he’s so well-known for lights up his face as he focuses on the camera over my shoulder. “Hello, I’m Reginald Williams, and welcome to the fifth season ofHeated.Most of you weren’t expecting another season so soon, but neither were we. This season will be different from the last four, but one thing hasn’t changed—we have an omega who is looking for their pack. Before we get into what to expect from this season and why it’s come so early, let me introduce you to this season’s omega—Emilia Reinhardt.”