Page 29 of Purple Protector
“And I will.”
There was a moment of silence between them. Birch didn’t know what else to say. That meant that of course, when he opened his mouth, the stupidest words came out.
“And I’m sure you’ll be able to go back to your rooms soon.”
Aaron’s smile fell, but like always, it didn’t last long. His second smile was obviously fake, but Birch couldn’t call him out. He’d been the one to remind Aaron that he wasn’t here permanently. What the fuck had he been thinking?
“I guess,” Aaron said. “I’m just not sure it’s safe.”
Was that why he was still living with Birch? Because he was afraid for his life and being attacked again? It made sense. Birch should’ve thought of that sooner. “I’ll make sure you’re safe even when you move back. Actually, I could probably talk Marlin into doing that tomorrow. We can put more protection on the windows so that no one can come in that way, and you’d be the only one to have the keys to the door. It’ll make work harder for the cleaning crew, but I’m sure we can work something out.”
Aaron swallowed heavily. “So I’m moving back tomorrow?”
“As soon as we can make the rooms safe enough, anyway.”
“I see. I can’t wait.”
His tone of voice didn’t sound like he was excited, but what did Birch know? Surely if Aaron wanted to stay with him, he’d have said it, right? He hadn’t had a problem asking Birch to share a nest with him. If he wanted more, he would’ve noticed that Birch was flirting and would’ve flirted back. He would’ve touched Birch as much as Birch had been touching him. He would’ve given Birch a hint that he was interested, too. Instead, he kept looking away, which was probably a sign that Birch needed to stop touching him so much.
It wouldn’t be hard to do that once Aaron was back where he belonged, and apparently, that wasn’t with Birch.
AARON HAD NO IDEA WHERE things had gone wrong. One moment, everything was fine, and the next, Birch was reassuring him that he’d be safe even if he went back to his rooms and was planning the move. Had anything Aaron said or done hinted at the fact that he didn’t want to be here? He didn’t think so because he didn’t want to go back, but clearly, he was wrong. Why would Birch assume that Aaron wanted to leave otherwise?
Or maybe he didn’t want Aaron to stay any longer. Aaron had been staying with Birch for a while, and Birch probably wanted his privacy and his own space again. He’d been nice—more than Aaron could’ve hoped for—but it was time for both of them to go back to their lives.
Aaron barely ate. He could feel Birch watching him, and he didn’t want to be rude, but he wasn’t hungry anymore. It had nothing to do with the fact that he wasn’t moving a lot these days. He was sad because he was about to lose all of this.
He told himself it wasn’t the end of the world. He was never supposed to stay with Birch, especially in the long term. It wouldn’t be comfortable for Birch. He’d done Killian a favor by allowing Aaron to stay with him, which was a lot more than most people would’ve done, but that was all there was to it. He’d been nice and sweet, and Aaron had allowed himself to hope for more, but he shouldn’t have. He should’ve known better.
“Are you sure you’re not hungry?” Birch asked.
“I’m fine,” Aaron quickly told him. “And if I need more food, I can always go to the dining hall.”
Birch frowned. “You shouldn’t. It’s not safe yet.”
“But I’m going back to my room. If that’s safe, surely going to the dining hall is safe, too. I can’t expect people to bring me food all the time.” If Birch expected him to stay in his room, it would be worse than Aaron’s situation now. At least here, he had Birch to see and talk to. He wasn’t completely alone. He missed going to the dining hall with the dragons and eating lunch with Palmer and Taylor, but he understood that being safe was more important than his job or his social life.
But Birch was telling him that even once he moved back, he wouldn’t be allowed to leave his room. He’d be even more lonely than he was now, and he wasn’t sure he could deal with that.
Birch frowned. “I don’t think you’ll be completely safe until we find the attacker.”
“But you might never find them. What then? Am I supposed to be a prisoner in my room forever?” Because if that would be Aaron’s life here, he’d rather go back. He didn’t want to, but if he had to choose between the two, he would. As much as he enjoyed being part of the clan, he didn’t feel like he’d be a clan member if he was stuck in his room.
Birch didn’t say anything, but he was still frowning. His expression didn’t change while they finished eating and cleaned up. In the evening, they usually spent a few hours on the couch, watching TV and talking about Birch’s day.
Aaron didn’t feel up for that night. “I’m gonna go to bed.”
“Already? We could watch a few episodes of that series you like.”
“Not tonight.” And probably not ever again if Birch had his way.
Aaron couldn’t find it in himself to blame Birch. Anyone would want their personal space back in his position. He’d done so much already. Aaron couldn’t beg him for more, no matter how much he wanted to.
He left Birch in the sitting room and went to shower. He wasn’t feeling any better by the time he was done, but at least he wouldn’t have to continue thinking about this mess for much longer. Hopefully, he’d fall asleep quickly. Part of him didn’t want to because he wanted to enjoy sleeping next to Birch since this would be one of the last times he could, but he didn’t want to prolong the inevitable.
He’d just settled on his side of the nest when Birch came in. Aaron frowned because Birch didn’t usually go to bed this early, but he didn’t say anything as Birch vanished into the bathroom. For some reason, his heart was racing. This wasn’t the first time or even the second or third they shared a nest, so what was wrong with him? This time wouldn’t be any different. Birch’s feelings for him weren’t any different. Aaron had hoped, but he’d been wrong.
He wasn’t sure how everything had gone so badly in just a few hours, but he wished he could turn back time. Instead, he lay there, staring at the ceiling, until he heard Birch come back. Then, he squeezed his eyes shut, hoping Birch would think he was asleep.
