Page 19 of Say Yes to the Chef

I think I’m… happy?

My intake of air is shaky and I close my eyes as tears press at the backs of them. I certainly don’t want to cry with this beautiful, naked man between my legs, touching me as if he can’t even help himself, can’t get enough. But it’s been so damn long.

I know better than anyone that one night can change a person.

A decision can change a path.

A diagnosis can change a life.

I began this trip with mixed feelings. Fear, one of the biggest ones. Boldness, another contender. Setting out on a vacation by myself was one of the bravest things I’ve ever done. It was also one of the scariest. I was excited… nervous…

But amidst them all, hovering in the back, a silent sense of desperation.

I don’t think I could have put a name to that feeling yesterday, but that’s what it was.

Desperation.

I was drowning. Gasping for air.

Forlife.

Tom and I were completely imprisoned by his illness. An uninvited parasite, it took hold of our lives, controlling every aspect. From the major decisions to the day-to-day minutiae, cancer was at the wheel. Then Tom died, and I was just… left behind. What was my purpose without my husband to care for? Without my children to raise?

Since his death, I’ve been a bit dead myself.

Apathetic. Going through the motions.

Yet, always with this feeling of searching. For what, I didn’t know.

I needed to find life again. Needed to feel it within myself.

More than anything, I needed tofeel.

“You’re very quiet.” From his position between my legs, Marco folds his arms across my belly and rests his chin on them as he looks at me. “Maybe my cooking lesson is boring you.”

I laugh and fold my hands behind my head on the pillow. “Is that what this is?”

“Yes. I’m showing you all the ways to use coconut cream.”

I brush my finger across his bottom lip to steal a bit of coconutty goodness and bring it to my mouth. I suck the sweetness from my finger and Marco’s eyes widen.

“Ah,” he says, “so youwerepaying attention.” He drags a finger through the remaining cream in the ramekin and brings it to my mouth.

I close my lips and suck the cream from his finger, holding his gaze.

He pulls himself up quickly, then stretches out on top of me, pressing his cock between my legs. I whimper at the delicious pressure.

“Again?” His mouth drops open in mock surprise.

I bark out a laugh and quickly cover my mouth, but Marco pulls my hand away, kissing me before I can protest. His tongue drags against mine in long, searching strokes, pulling moans from my lips I couldn’t control if I wanted to.

When he pulls back, there’s a cocksure smile on his face.

I lift one eyebrow. “Feeling pretty proud of yourself?”

He nods, then bucks his hips and I whimper as his hard length reminds my body how enjoyable it is to be filled with him. His eyes darken; his face grows serious. “That sound. Make it again.” Marco bites down on his bottom lip and thrusts against me again.

“Marco,” I growl.

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