Mom’s eyes narrowed thoughtfully. “I think you do, honey. You just don’t give yourself enough credit.” As I stood to pace, she watched my every move. “I think maybe that’s my fault.”
“What?” I stopped and spun toward her. “What is?”
“You don’t trust yourself to make the right choice with him. You don’t trust your heart.”
I barked out a laugh, waving my hands at the shitshow that was now my life. “I mean, can you blame me? Look at what happened when I followed my heart.”
“You fell in love.”
“Mom.” I sighed. “I ended up on the news.Tied up.”
She winced and I whined.
“See? It’s horrible.”
“It’s not horrible, honey, if it’s what you wanted.”
I pressed my hands to my face and peeked out at her with one eye. “You’re not ashamed of me?”
“Oh, Rylan, no. Concerned, maybe. Surprised, yes. Definitely. But never ashamed.” She patted the bed beside her and I sat down again. “The thing is, I raised you in a household that was on constant alert. You don’t trustyourselfto make the right decision because you couldn’t trustmeto.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but she shook her head.
“It’s okay, honey, I’m okay. I did make the right decision in the end, and you will too.” She slipped her hand around mine and squeezed. “You just have to trust your gut and follow your heart.”
“What if they’re going in two different directions?”
“Are they?”
I sighed and shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“I think you do.”
Plopping back on the bed I stared at the ceiling. What my heart wanted was easy: Cabot Reed. My gut, however, I wasn’t so sure. I think it was telling me to steer clear of him and focus on my career.
But maybe that was my head talking?
“Ugh,” I groaned. “I don’t know. I’m all over the place.”
Mom laughed and rose to her feet, then the twist of the doorknob sounded in the silence. “Be quiet and listen. You know what to do.”
When she left, I laughed softly to myself. Glad someone believed in me, because I had serious doubts.
Chapter Ten
Rylan
Saturday morning, while I drank my coffee quietly on the balcony overlooking the street, I considered my options. First, I could keep searching for work, leaving Cabot, the internship, and Reed Publishing in the past. Or, and this is what I leaned toward, I could accept the internship position, return to Reed Romance, and move forward.
But I couldn’t do that if I wasalsoseeing Cabot romantically.
And that was the part I hated.
It just wouldn’t work, especially now that everyone knew.
My heart twisted at the thought of maintaining distance from a man I wanted with every fiber of my being, but I couldn’t ignore the fact that I’d been willing to give up everything for him and that had completely derailed me.
So if I did return to the internship, I couldn’t do it as Cabot’s girlfriend, fiancé, or submissive, because we’d already proven once that we couldn’t keep our personal and professional lives separate.