Page 84 of Pucking Strong

I slip under the covers on my side of the bed and roll away from him, pretending he’s not even there as I get my phone charging and take my nightly vitamins. Then I click off the lamp and nestle into the pillows. I wait a beat, listening for the sound of Henrik’s slow, even breathing. I know he’s still awake. Reaching behind me, my fingers brush over the sheets until they feather lightly up his arm.

“What are you doing?” he whispers.

Wrapping my hand around his wrist, I tug him closer.

He lets himself be reeled in, closing the distance until he’s pressed as close as we were in that tiny bed in the boat hut.

“Teddy, I can’t,” he rasps, a slight catch in his voice. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Shhh.” I drape his arm around my middle, luxuriating in the feel of his bare skin pressed against mine.

He scoots in close, all but resting his head on my pillow.

“There,” I soothe, taking a deep breath and letting it out. “You can’t drown if you’re holding onto the dock. Now go to sleep. You have a game tomorrow.” I feel him relax behind me, his breath warm as it fans across the back of my neck. “God natt, Henrik.”

He shifts his hold on me, curling his arm up until it’s banded against my chest. “God natt, mitt hjärta.”

Within minutes, he’s asleep.

“Karlsson!”

I glance over my shoulder to see Coach Johnson standing in the doorway to his office, hands on his hips. All around me, my teammates are going through their pregame rituals, preparing for our first game of the season. Rock music plays through the speakers, adding to the noise.

“Yes, Coach?”

“Get in here.” Without waiting for a response, he disappears into his office.

I toss my moisture-wicking undershirt into my stall and stand. My skates are already on, shin pads secured, socks taped. My hockey pants sit loose around my waist as I cross the dressing room.

Is he about to tell me I’m not starting? I know I’ve been off these past few weeks, but I actually skated better this morning. I finally slept, thank Christ. Never mind that I woke to find myself wrapped around Teddy, our arms and legs entangled. There was no way to extract myself without waking him, but my alarm was going off. He groaned, rolling with me as I turned, reaching for my buzzing phone.

“Whattimeizit?” he mumbled.

“Early,” I replied, slipping from the bed.

He let me leave, his body stretched out like a starfish across the sheets as he chased more sleep.

I stumbled into the bathroom and stood at the sink, early-morning light glowing pink in the mirror. I stood there and stared at my own reflection, wondering how I could go three decades feeling like sharing my bed with another person was an unwelcome invasion of privacy. Now, in the span of less than three weeks, I’ve come to feel like I can’t sleep without Teddy next to me.

What is happening to me?

“Guys, squash in,” says Coach. “Make room for Karlsson. I’ll make this quick.”

Pausing in Coach’s doorway, I glance around. The small office is cramped with my teammates, all in a similar state of partial dress. Jake, my team captain; Langley and Novy, the assistant captains. Fuck, this can’t be good. He really is going to take my starting spot away.

Even Caleb is in here, standing in the corner with his hands in his pockets.

Wait … why would our equipment manager be here to discuss a line change?

I slip inside the door. “What’s wrong?”

Coach leans forward in his tailored grey suit, hands splayed on his desk. “It’s been brought to my attention that you’re making a little announcement tonight.”

I go still. “Sir?”

“Otherwise, why would Poppy St. James deliver this to my office?” He picks up a folder, flipping it open. “It’s a press release announcing that you went off to Sweden and married our new PT. Is that correct?”

I sigh, leaning against the doorway. “Yes, sir. Teddy and I are married. It’s been cleared with HR. Everything is legal and, you know … ethical.” I try not to look Jake’s and Caleb’s way. Their own coming-out was marred by the sticky situation of Doctor Price being Ilmari’s treating physician. “Poppy’s team is handling the press release.”

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