Page 73 of Pucking Strong

“Don’t.” I tip his chin back up. “Don’t pull away from me. Don’t hide, and don’t deflect. We’re in this together, remember? Now, tell me what you mean.”

He’s quiet for a moment, considering his words. “In that moment, we were just two creatures of instinct. There were no jobs or responsibilities, no egos, no names. Just raw human connection. In the end, I think that’s all anyone wants, you know? To connect?”

It’s a beautiful sentiment, poetic in its simplicity. “I know.”

“Well, say what you want, but we connected on that sidewalk, Henrik. Iknowyou felt it too. Not in a gay way maybe,” he adds quickly. “More like … as humans, you know?”

“I do.”

“Yeah, well, the moment ego entered the picture, the moment we had jobs, and names, and responsibilities, we let that bond snap. For you, it was a momentary pain. You moved on. Look at you, you’re fucking fine. But me?” He twists his other arm free and presses his hand to his chest, fingers splayed over my sweater. “Henrik, I’m not fine. I don’t recover as fast as you. Wounds to the body are one thing. I know how to heal those. But wounds to the soul?” He just shakes his head, sinking into silence again.

“Teddy …”

“Look, I’ll be fine eventually,” he says over me, always ready for deflection and self-preservation. “It just took me by surprise in there, okay? We had a plan, and I would have preferred it if you stuck to the plan. If you want to apologize to me, apologize for that.”

“Teddy, Iamsorry.”

He lowers his hand. “It’s fine. Apology accepted. But from now on, the sidewalk story is just for us, okay?”

“Fine. I’ll never mention it again … except to you.”

He nods, still inching away from me. This time, I let him go. His eyes flash as he rebuilds his walls, shutting me out. “If it’s okay with you, I think I’m gonna head out tonight.”

My gut clenches tight. “Out?”

“Yeah, my friend Colin invited me out for beers. We were supposed to do it before, but I was in Sweden. You good to go home and relieve Hanna alone?”

He’s still mad at me. Now he’s leaving, and I can’t stop him. I haven’t the right. I promised him freedom, and he’ll have it. Even if it burns like a fire in my chest to say the words. “Of course. Go have fun. Tomorrow is a game day, so it’ll be an early night for me.”

“Cool.” He takes another step away, and I fight the urge to follow. “Well, then maybe I’ll just stay out. I can crash at Colin’s—”

“No.” The word slips out before I can stop it.

He raises a dark brow in a mix of defiance and open question.

“You don’t have to stay out all night,” I quickly amend. “Come home at any hour.”

“I don’t wanna wake you up or upset any of your game-day rituals. Besides, Hanna comes again in the morning, right? So, you don’t even need me there.”

I want to tell him it’s not a matter of needing him. But that feels like manipulation. He wants to go, so I’ll let him go. I feel hollow as I offer him what I hope is a reassuring smile. “My home is yours. Come and go as you please.”

He takes another step back. “If I don’t see you before the game, you know I’ll see you there, right? Gotta give Poppy a few more media moments.”

“I’ll be the one in teal,” I joke.

Neither of us laugh.

“Yeah. Well … night, Henrik.”

“Good night, Teddy.”

He turns away from me and hurries down the stairs, taking them two at a time.

Make this make sense. One moment, he’s sitting at my side, squeezing my hand, laughing at my jokes, and telling Janine Marsh he likes my eyes. The next, he’s yelling at me in a stairwell and telling me he plans to spend the night with a man named Colin.

As I stand here, heart racing, the truth settles over me: I don’t want Teddy out with another man tonight. I want him home, laughing with Karro on the couch, making banana splits, and teaching me to braid her hair.

I want him home with me.

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