Page 23 of Pucking Strong

“Are you shitting me?” Teddy cries. “You brought those here? Now?”

“As I said, we are out of time. You may call me insensitive, but Henrik must know the full range of his options. Only then can he make the most informed decision.” She turns back to me. “Sweden has a robust foster-to-adoption program. All these families have been thoroughly vetted. They’re prepared for just this kind of situation.”

“What situation?”

“A situation where a family member forgoes custody but wants to stay in contact. You could still see her,” she assures me. “No one would ever question your right to a relationship with her. But you wouldn’t carry the burden of care. You would be free to continue to live your life on your terms as her uncle, not her guardian. These families are ready to take in a child. Everything would be in place for her, Henrik. It would be seamless.”

I sit back, Teddy’s hand falling from my shoulder. Is this it then? Is this how I honor Petra and show Karolina my love, by letting her go? It will break my heart, but it’s ultimately not about me. Her care must come first. She could stay here in Sweden. Better healthcare, better education. And they’ll still let me see her, talk to her, visit her.

But just thinking it has my stomach twisting in painful knots again. I don’t want to be free of the burden of care. If these last few days have shown me anything, it’s that IwantKarolina with me. Ifit means my life must change to care for her, then so be it. I’ve had enough of thinking and living only for myself.

Next to me, Teddy crosses his arms. “Well, let’s get this over with then.”

Elin raises a brow. “Pardon?”

He waves a hand at the offensive folder. “Tell us about these amazing foster families. You say Karlsson needs to know all his options, so let’s hear ’em.”

With a nod from me, she opens the folder and takes out the first file. Her eyes dart as she reads. “This is the application for Oliver and Britt Berglund. He’s a grocery executive. And it looks like they have a dog.” She shows us a picture of a kind-looking couple walking a labrador on a leash.

Teddy nudges me with his elbow. “Hear that, Karlsson? She could get a lifetime discount on apples. Never mind that you could buy her a whole freaking orchard. And Karro’s afraid of dogs,” he says at Elin. “I asked her yesterday. Next.”

I stifle my smile as Elin flips to the next application.

“Hugo and Anna Ehrling,” she reads out. “He’s a florist, and she’s a labor and delivery nurse.”

Teddy scoffs. “Flowers attract bees, Elin. That doesn’t sound very safe, does it? And Karolina is only five. She won’t need the talents of a labor and delivery nurse for a good long while. Know what shedoesneed? A physical therapist. Lucky for her, Morbror Henrik is friends with, like, fifty. One is sitting right next to him. Next application, please.”

I don’t bother hiding my smile now. Before this trip, Teddy always tiptoed around me like I was a sleeping giant. He was awkward and fumbling, dropping ice packs and saying odd things. But in this moment, he’s the one standing ten feet tall, letting me collect myself in his shadow.

Elin flips to the next application with an irritated sniff. “Erik and Kerstin Fällman, and their daughter Maria—”

“You know, I’m sensing a bit of a pattern here,” Teddy says over her.

She glances up. “Pattern?”

He leans forward, elbows on the table. “Yeah, it sounds like what the Swedish government wants is for Karolina to go to a nice little straight couple. Not very enlightened of them, is it? Families come in all shapes and sizes, you know, including single parents. I was raised by a working single mom, and I turned out great.”

“Unfortunately, according to the Swedish government, there are many benefits to the two-parent household,” Elin replies. “I make no commentary on whether their assumptions are correct,” she adds before he can protest. “But I must work within the bounds of the system as they set it. That Henrik is unmarried does not help his case.”

“Fucking medieval,” Teddy mutters.

God help me, is this how I lose her? Because I’m unmarried?

I never thought to have a wife. I was always too busy building and maintaining my career. Professional hockey players start young. If you show any talent, you’re quickly funneled into the elite junior league teams. From there, the top players all compete for spots on the European professional teams or the NHL. It’s been my life’s work to climb that ladder and stay at the top.

Outside of hockey, my teammates always made time for dating. Eventually, most of them settled down to start and raise families. It just never appealed to me. Perhaps because I’m as awkward with women as I am with my teammates. Women may find me attractive, but our conversations stall when I sit in prolonged silence or try to engage them with talk about my interests. I’ve learned through experience that discussing the comparative frames per second of different camera bodies is not exactly an aphrodisiac to … well, any woman I’ve ever met.

And sex has never been a priority for me the way it is for some of my teammates. I don’t crave it. The few times I had sex, I felt bored the whole time. I felt unattached, like my body was going through the motions while my mind was elsewhere. I tried it, didn’t care for it, and haven’t felt the need to try again.

Now, it seems my disinterest in sex, love, and marriage may cost me the one thing Idocare about outside of hockey. Lost in my thoughts, I almost miss it when Teddy says, “So you’re saying it would strengthen Karlsson’s case if he were married?”

Elin glances between us. “Perhaps.”

He shakes his head. “‘Perhaps’ isn’t good enough, Elin. We’re out of time here, remember?”

I grab his arm. “What are you doing?”

He shrugs me off. “If Karlsson were married to say, a doctor of physical therapy, trained to rehabilitate injuries exactly like the ones Karolina has, would that strengthen his custody case?”

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