Page 218 of Pucking Strong

I nod. “As long as there is breath in my body.”

Smiling, she leans in and gives me a hug. Then she takes her place as the matron of honor.

“Please, rise,” the officiant calls.

Our sea of friends and family rise from their chairs, turning to face up the aisle. With the pressure off me, I glance down. I’m wearing a sleek black tuxedo with thin lapels. The top button of my shirt is open, no tie. Teddy surprised me by leaving a gift in my dressing room this morning. It was a pocket square made from a piece of blue satin he cut from his favorite head scarf. When I lifted it to my face, I could smell the faint hint of peppermint hair oil, a pure shot of Teddy right to my lungs.

I adjust the little square of satin in my pocket. Then the music changes to something soft and romantic. A gasp ripples through the crowd, and I get my first look at Teddy in over twenty-four hours. He and his mother turn the corner at the top of the aisle, and my heart stops.

“Holy shit,” Novy mutters.

Reaching out, Lindberg squeezes my shoulder again. I hardly register the touch. I only see Teddy.

He’s wearing all white, his hair up in a twisted knot. His outfit is a sleek white tuxedo with crisply pleated pants and a jacket. He’sshirtless beneath the double-breasted jacket, which is accented at the lapels and on the sleeves with what looks like bridal lace. A sheer white veil is pinned at his shoulders, trailing behind him like a cape. He clutches a bouquet of flowers that Karolina helped him pick, which includes buttery yellow roses with sprigs of blue, a nod to our Swedish heritage.

In this moment, he’s more beautiful than I’ve ever seen him. I called him the ocean before, deep and endless. But just for tonight, he is the sun. He’s radiant and glowing, shining out like a beacon, calling me home.

His mother walks proudly at his side, her hand draped on his arm. Relations between us have improved over the last few months. I write her emails weekly, informing her about our life and my travels. I share pictures of Teddy and Karolina—at ballet practice and the pool, baking in the kitchen, making forts in the living room.

That’s all his mother wants in the end, to still feel like part of his new life. I can give her that. And in return, she will give me the chance to show that I mean what I say: I will love Teddy until the end, until there is nothing left of me but ash.

Even then, the proof of our love will remain. Petra isn’t gone. Not so long as Karolina draws breath. Not as long as we love her and honor her memory. My love for Teddy will be just the same. It’s bigger than me, touching everyone in our lives, remaking us all.

Teddy stops before me, tears of joy shining in his eyes.

“Who gives this man to be wed?” the officiant asks.

Keziah looks to me and nods. Then she turns to the officiant. “His mother does.” Kissing his cheek, she hands Teddy off to me, entrusting him to my care.

I take his hand in mind, pulling him forward. “You look beautiful, mitt hjärta.”

“So do you,” he replies, handing his bouquet to Shae.

The officiant gestures for the crowd to be seated, then she begins. I’m lost in a trance, unable to look away from my Teddy. His beauty is breathtaking, my man of sharp angles. The cut of his cheeks looks even more pronounced in this waning light. He feels my eyes on him and offers me a nervous smile, squeezing my hand.

Before long, the officiant is announcing the vows, asking us each to recite them. We already did this in Sweden. I promised to love and honor. I promised to shelter and defend. They were just words to me then. Now, I recite them as a sacred oath. I will love my Teddy for all my days. Honor him, yes. In all ways. I will shelter him and seek shelter in him. I will defend him with my life, with my dying breath.

“Do you, Henrik Johan Björn Karlsson, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do,” I declare.

His smile is blinding as he fights back his tears.

“And do you, Theodore Malik O’Connor, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“Yes,” he says on a breath. Blinking, he looks to the officiant. “Wait, I mean ‘I do.’ God, of course I do!”

The crowd laughs, and the officiant nods. Then she turns to Karolina. “Karro, do you want to come up here, honey?”

With a little nudge from Hanna, Karolina slips out of her chair and hurries over to us, taking one of our hands in each of hers. When we discussed getting remarried, this was always part of the ceremony that Teddy was adamant we include, much to my relief and delight.

“Karro, honey, your uncles have something they’d like to say to you.” Turning to me, the officiant nods.

It feels strange to offer these words in English, but I made a promise to Teddy. Dropping down to one knee, I brush a tear off Karolina’s cheek. “Mitt lamm, I’ve loved you from the moment you drew your first breath. You may not be my daughter by blood, but you are part of me, part of the soul of me. On this day, as I take Teddy into my heart and vow to make a home for him, I vow the same to you. I will love you always, mitt lamm. You will always have a home with me.”

She cries, wrapping her arms around my middle. Ilmari leans around Lindberg, handing me the flower crown we had made for her. Smiling, I rest it atop her head. She lights up, eyes wide, as she brushes her fingers over the soft petals of the roses in her crown.

Wiping under his eyes, Teddy clears his throat, then takes her hand. “Karro, you know you’re my best little friend. Becoming your uncle has been one of the great joys of my life. I believe we can pick our family and love them as fiercely as our own flesh and blood. And I pick you. I pick you to watch movies with, and bake cookies with, and watch hockey with. I will always pick you. I will always love you. And I will never leave.”

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