Page 14 of Pucking Strong

“Shit. Well, did they say what happened yet?”

“From what the police have gathered, their car was hit from the side,” he explains. “It was a young driver. Apparently, he walked away without a scratch. Meanwhile, Karolina has crush injuries to her left side. And my sister—” He bites back the words, tugging the bill of his hat lower. He doesn’t want to say it, and I won’t make him say it. When he’s ready, maybe someday we can talk about her.

“But Karolina … they think she’ll make a full recovery?”

He nods.

“Karlsson, that’s good. Broken bones suck. There’s no way around that. But broken bones heal. Just means she gets to spend a couple months being pampered with ice cream and movie marathons. I bet she’ll be back on her feet in no time.”

He nods again. After a moment, he sets his phone aside. “Teddy, before we go, I just … I want to thank you again.”

“Hey, don’t even worry about it—”

“No, I want to.” His navy-blue eyes look so forlorn. “I’m not always good at expressing myself. And I know you haven’t always been comfortable around me …”

Shit. Does he know? Has he known all this time? Oh god, this is so fucking embarrassing. My mind races as I try to think of what to say. “Karlsson, look—”

“You don’t have to bother denying it,” he goes on. “It’s plain to see how uncomfortable I make you. I’m not the easiest person to talk to … or work with. But I will endeavor to do better. Just know this is a difficult time for me, so if I struggle to perform the niceties of social interactions—”

“Hey.” I lean across the aisle, placing my hand on his arm. I see the pain in his eyes, the grief and fatigue. “You don’t owe me an explanation. And you sure as hell don’t owe me any kind of apology. There’s nothing wrong with you, Karlsson. I’m weird becauseI’mweird, not because you’re weird. You’re perfect, okay? You just be you, and I’ll be me, and we’ll just be weird and awkward together. Sound good?”

He nods.

I smile, dropping my hand away. “So, tell me about Sweden. Do you think we’ll see any polar bears?” He chuckles and my chest puffs with pride. I did that. I distracted him and put that smile on his face. See? I’m helping already.

“No, we won’t see any polar bears in Stockholm.”

I grin, leaning over in my seat. “But, I mean, never say never, right? Therearepolar bears in Sweden, right?”

“Not since the last ice age.”

“That actually makes me kinda sad.”

He’s quiet for a moment, his lips pursed as he considers. “Yeah. Me too.”

Our plane lands in Stockholm at ten in the morning. By eleven, Teddy and I are walking through the main doors of Saint Ingegerd Hospital. I suppose I must be grateful the ambulance brought Karolina here. They have a top-ranked trauma center. Reading the signs in Swedish, I lead the way towards the reception desk.

Teddy walks silently at my side. Since we landed, he’s been quiet, which I appreciate. Not that I mind his conversation generally, but my thoughts are all scrambled, my emotions raw. I feel untethered, floating through the ether. Everything is darkness. A sea of grief with limitless shores stretches on inside me.

Surely some of this is just my fatigue. I should have slept on the plane. Teddy encouraged me to try, but my mind wouldn’t shut off. Now, my heart is in my throat, my palms are sweating, and I’m trying not to think about it. But I can’t help myself …

Somewhere in this hospital, my sister lies dead.

Suddenly, Teddy’s hand is at my shoulder, his voice soft. “Hey, you okay? You need a minute?”

I blink, glancing around. I didn’t even realize I’d stopped walking. We’re standing in the middle of the hallway, still feet away from the reception desk.

“Good morning,” the receptionist chimes in Swedish. “Welcome to Saint Ingegerd Hospital. How can I help direct you this morning?”

Shrugging away from Teddy, I step forward. “I’m here to see apatient. Karolina Karlsson. I was told she’s in the pediatric trauma center.”

The blonde nurse turns to her computer screen, clicking on the keyboard. After a moment, she looks up. “As a pediatric patient, she has a list of approved visitors. May I please see your identification?”

I pull my Swedish passport from my pocket and hand it to her. “I have a friend with me. Can you approve him as a visitor?”

“I’ll need to see his identification too.”

I glance over my shoulder at Teddy. “Give her your passport.”

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